Ironwood Rain Music

Toni's IR Blog

2012-02-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

Mythology, Joseph Campbell and Following My Bliss

Toni's Blank Slate (A Gardener's Tabula Rasa!)

IR LIVE FOTOS -a gallery of photographs of Ironwood Rain LIVE!

2012-02-08T15:18:00.000-08:00

Oriental Theater:

D-Note:

Taste of Colorado:

Anam Cara Living Arts Gallery:

Toad Tavern:

with special guest Josie Quick. (can you guess which song we're playing?)

COMBO Music Festival:

Golden's First Friday Festival:

Mercury Cafe:

Colorado Tartan Day Festival:

____________________________________________________________

SPECIAL GUESTS

Josie Quick (Perpetual Motion)

who also plays violin on our second CD, Burn the Ships

Ed Bonham

who played drums on our debut CD TRIO

The infamous Michael Sheridan (you may know him as Cap'n Jack McCool)

our featured musical guest at the Pirate Party in 2010
__________________________________________________

FORMER BAND MEMBERS-

DRUMMERS (just don't say "Spinal Tap!")

Our first drummer, Gary Saint Germain:

without whom, we would never have acquired the official 'Ironwood Rain Hard Hats':

the ultra-cool Phil Regas, our second drummer:

__________________________________________________

VINTAGE IR FOTOS:

Live photos from 'the Early Years' or Ironwood Rain:

IR FAN FOTOS - we couldn't do it without the love and support of our fans!

2012-02-08T15:10:00.001-08:00

WE COULDN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU!

There are all kinds of Ironwood Rain fans (and we LOVE them all!!!)

IR FANS AND SUPPORTERS

All the fans, friends (across the country and all over the world), fellow members of the musical community, and family who come out to see us, who buy our CDs, ask for autographs, and who spread the word by telling their friends...

...within the larger group, there are those we call:
THE RAIN GANG!

Our enthusiastic supporters, who can be seen regularly at shows and events... and whose love, support, and creativity keep us going!

...at the heart of the Rain Gang, there's a handful of hard-core supporters, who are in front of the stage or on the dance floor at nearly every performance, have all the CDs, and know the words to the songs at least as well as we do... we call them:
THE IRON CORE!!!

Of course, we couldn't talk about support without mentioning our spouses, significant others, and family:

They do more than support us... they have to live with us day to day!

We're fans of other bands too... and part of a wonderful, growing musical community. We enjoy going to see other bands perform, to show our love and support.

And of course, we're constantly collaborating with our fellow musicians - for example, the
CD Relief Concert at the Oriental Theater; with Chris Daniels, Demon Funkies, Tequila Mockingbird, Hazel Miller, Jock Bartley and Rick Roberts (from Firefall) and others:

and the Ironwood Rain/Demon Funkies Pajama Party at the Buffalo Rose:

other IR FOTOS - a gallery of photos of Ironwood Rain in the studio and other places

2012-02-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

Promotional photos:

Colorado Sound Studios:

Our producer, Steve Avedis:

MohrFire Studios:

Ironic Inspiration

2012-02-06T17:18:00.000-08:00

As I was finishing up a new tune last week I began pondering this subject of inspiration. Sometimes the songs flow out of me like I am a mere conduit
receiving music from the heavens. Other times, ideas refuse to visit me and should they appear, refuse to develop. Why should this be? Inspiration comes to me in so many forms of beauty and art too numerous to mention. Natural, rhythms, symmetry, vibrant colors and harmony are around us everyday. The goal, then is too learn to tap into these sources and remove my ego from interfering with the natural flow. Pushing harder to finish a song idea has never been effective for me. The hard pushing usually only scares my ideas into a corner where proper development can never occur.

So I found myself re-learning this lesson (again!). This song I was working on had been sitting in my mind fully complete for over a year. I could hear the music and changes. I could even hear a vocalist singing beautiful melodies but it was like they were in a different language. As clear as the melody was, I could not seem the understand the words. For months I forced snippets of words over this melody to no avail. They simply were not the correct words (although, sometimes they rhymed with them).

So you can imagine my surprise when the words finally revealed themselves to me and I found that they were speaking about the very subject of INSPIRATION. Surely this is what the song was trying to tell me the entire time I was failing to understand the vague lyrics in my head. It was almost like being hit over the head by my own song. Of course I will endure any pain for my art and inspiration (like I have any choice). So come on you BIG, BAD INSPIRING INPIRATION: Hit me! PLease!

Mythology, Joseph Campbell and Following My Bliss

2012-02-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

I recently came across a ten-year old essay I had written for a Mythology Class at Regis University. It is a reaction paper/essay to a great book by Joseph Campbell called The Power of Myth. I felt it was worth sharing, and may start you on a journey to discover (or rediscover) your own bliss.

So before you start reading you'll want to grab a cup of tea (or a glass of good single malt scotch) and get comfy, because I tend to be as verbose in my writing as I am in my speaking.

“Literature of the spirit” is one of the multitude of descriptions Joseph Campbell gives for mythology, and the one that I find the most apropos. In the book The Power of Myth(1) and the corresponding PBS series, Mr. Campbell peals back the layers of ideology about humanity to reveal the eternal contained within everyone. Although the ideas he put forth absolutely captivated my imagination, there were several points that specifically spoke to my heart and solidified ideas that had beforehand swirled about my consciousness without clarity. In explaining mythological stories, Mr. Campbell's illustrations acted as a type of myth to help me gain awareness of my connection with God. The proposition posed about the purpose of myths in our lives, duality, the idea of sacrifice, and following one's bliss stayed with me after my readings and begged to be pondered.

Campbell's description of myths as guide-signs or guideposts for both the inner journey of a person and his/her life’s journey were insightful. The characters in myths help us to navigate through the mundane tangible forefront of reality or physical plane by illustrating the consequences of correct and incorrect actions. They can also guide us on our inner spiritual journey by helping to unveil a deeper meaning behind the cultural dressings in which each story is wrapped. If time and the four dimensions are viewed as manmade inventions, they exist only in man's idea of the physical plane. It goes to follow that if the eternal is everlasting, then the physical and eternal would have to co-exist. Therefore, Heaven/God/the Universal Spirit does not exist in another time or place, but rather here and now within and without each of us. The idea echoes the Buddhist belief in Nirvana - the attainment of deep peace and enlightenment (arriving at or with Heaven/God/the Universal Spirit) while your physical body still lives.

These ideas, and myths in general, are based on the assumption that there is more to life and reality that the corporeal; that there are at least two planes co-existing - the physical and the eternal. Mythology can help us to understand both. Mr. Campbell portrayed the idea of the juxtaposition of the terrestrial over the eternal by putting his left hand behind his right. His right hand was representative of the present, tangible moment - - our secular life. His left hand represented the intangible, eternal reality. Then he spread apart the fingers on his right hand, so that his left hand could be glimpsed through them. “That,” explained Mr. Campbell, “is the purpose of mythology.”(2)

The concurrent existence of the duality of the physical and eternal is echoed in other dualities in mythology. There is the duality of male and female, good and evil, hope and despair, life and death, to name but a few. As with two sides of any argument, Mr. Campbell asserts that the truth is somewhere in the middle. To understand eternal truth, one should seek the path between the dualities. Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, called this the Middle Way. The middle path is between the dualities, where you are neither one nor the other, but also both. This is a difficult concept to grasp from a pragmatic point of view. It seems to me that the point being made is that we should avoid extremes or polarities; be neither a glutton nor an ascetic.

Mr. Campbell used marriage as an example of finding this middle path, especially as relates to male and female. He referred to marriage as "another mythological plane of existence" with the conception that one has found his/her proper female/male spiritual counterpart. When a person finds another who compliments his/her spirit, he/she falls in love. This does not mean a physical love or lust, but rather a complete spiritual love. The relationship becomes more important that either individual person. Even the rituals surrounding marriage emphasize two becoming one. This strongly coincides with my idea of marriage. Having happened to me, I believe in love at first sight. Not as an "ooh he's so cute", but rather as one's spirit recognizing the integral connection with the other’s. I am reminded of a creation myth of purported Celtic origin told to me as a child, wherein the first god or consciousness had to split itself into two as a means of self-realization. Since then, the two halves circle each other until they can again become one. People who have found this connection with a complimentary self are often referred to as soul mates. Soul mates sacrifice themselves to the relationship and it becomes more important than individual needs. This is not to say that a person loses his/herself in a relationship. Rather, if both people have made that spiritual connection, the willingness to compromise and sacrifice becomes second nature rather than a duty.

I hesitate to use the word sacrifice, because it is a term that often has negative connotations in our society. It is seen as an obligation not as a willing gesture. An example is the father who sacrifices everything for his family, not out of love but rather out of a sense of duty. This is illustrated in comments such as, "I sacrificed everything for you and you won't do this little thing (whatever it may be) for me." A true sacrifice is one performed out of love with no requirement of a return favor or comparable sacrifice. In this way it is proof of being in touch with the eternal within. To understand my meaning, it first has to be accepted that a portion of the eternal, or a soul, resides within everyone. This connects them to the eternal, or God. If one can embrace these ideas, it follows that we are all connected to each other through the eternal. Therefore, by sacrificing oneself, that person is benefiting the eternal in someone else. Since the sacrificing person is also a part of the eternal, he/she is benefiting the eternal within him/herself. Consequently, there is no such thing as sacrifice, even if the material self is destroyed, because the eternal continues. A person who follows his/her bliss has found a way to connect with the eternal.

What is bliss? Joseph Campbell states that bliss is an intuitive feeling, where your body and soul tell you to go, and once you have that feeling you should stay with it and not let anyone throw you off (p. 147). You should willingly sacrifice for your bliss. So, what is my bliss? I honestly had not previously considered it. I can list what gives me joy and contentment beyond material pleasures. The relationships with my husband and children would be at the top, with gardening a close second. My family relationships seem to be an obvious choice, but what about gardening? When I help things to grow, even when I kill tomato worms or clean the debris out of my garden, I am intimately involved with a living metaphor for the cycle of life. Further, when I garden, time ceases to exist. My mind is focused on nothing but the moment and what I am doing. I feel the presence of the eternal all around me and through me - Zen in the dirt. And when I hold my right (secular life) hand in front of my left (eternal reality) and spread apart the fingers, what I glimpse through them is earth and dirty finger nails . . . I will leave you to determine for yourself the significance.

Garden On!

[1] Campbell, Joseph, with Bill Moyers. The Power of Myth. NY: Doubleday, 1988

[2] Apostrophe S Products in Association with Alvin H. Perlmutter, Inc. (producer). (1988). The Power of Myth (Program 1). [Videotape]. New York, NY: Mystic Fire Productions Video

My first IR Blog...

2012-02-05T15:06:00.002-08:00

Hey everyone,

I first of all wanted to say how exciting it was to play for the Rain Gang...you guys rock. I could not believe how many of you made it out in the bad weather.

So I figured this would be a good place to let you know some things about me personally...well first of all I am married to a wonderful woman who supports EVERYTHING I do without question no matter how crazy it may seem to her. Her name is Melanie and some of you met her at the show on Friday...I have 3 beautiful Daughters in order by age Lilliana 11, Kaitlin 15 and Genevive 17...with the newest addition on the way Gabriella unborn...

I love my life and I am thankful to God for all I am and all he has blessed into my life while on this earth, including the talents of being able to play music which allowed me to find my new brothers JJ, Scotte and Mikey...love playing music with you guys.

I look forward to a long and enjoyable journey with you guys and with all the IR Fans...

Please feel free to email me anytime with questions you may have for me or you can find my Facebook Page thru the IR FB page...

I look forward to getting to know all of you better in the very near future. I will see you all again soon at the Rock and Soul Show...

Voices to Hear Interview

2012-02-04T21:45:00.000-08:00

A while back, we received several opportunities for podcasts and interviews, all of which were great fun, and a few actually turned into friendhips and long-term contacts. One of the more unusual was a quick call I received from John Holland at Voices to Hear. Interesting questions, I thought, and worth sharing here, I hope.

1. For many artists, they cite a defining moment for themselves when they knew they wanted to be a singer. For many it was the appearance of Elvis on the Ed Sullivan show, to another generation it was the Beatles’ appearance on Sullivan half a decade later. Is there such a defining moment for you?

Not really a single moment, but every time Emerson Lake and Palmer would release a new album, I was always in awe of Greg Lake's rich voice and the passion and intellect of his lyrics. He was my inspiration both as a singer and as a bassist. Pirates is still a song I aspire to be able to do justice and I love performing From the Beginning and Lucky Man. Closer to Believing was our wedding song 27 years ago!

2. When you’re not creating music what are you listening to? Who are some of your favorites?

I love Train, Live, and Collective Soul. I also grew up on old-school prog, so spend much time with classic art rock acts like Yes and Jethro Tull and contemporary progressive artists Porcupine Tree, Shadow Gallery and Spock's Beard. My tastes for vocal music are pretty eclectic, though, so I may be the only person in Colorado with Roger Whittaker, Dio and Juluka in the same car CD case.

3. What would you say is your greatest moment so far as an artist, either on record or live?

Live, Mikey and I got to perform onstage at a benefit concert with Patrick Moraz (Yes, Moody Blues) several of Denver's top musicians of the time and a 100 voice gospel choir in a huge historic theater downtown. Absolute music Nirvana!
In the studio, working with producer Steve Avedis at Colorado Sound last summer was made even sweeter by the music for "Burn the Ships" coming off exactly the way I'd envisioned. That's a rare gift for an artist, I think, and very satisfying.

4. Do you believe music can change the world or is just something to listen to? How much can music influence current events?

The transcendent and transformative power of music can't be denied on any level, I believe. Johnny B. Goode is the rockin' voice of humanity out in interstellar space on the disc attached to the Voyager I probe. Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues tied together hemispheres of society that never would have touched otherwise. All Along the Watchtower, Buffalo Soldier, Smells Like Teen Spirit, My Generation, California Dreamin', Ohio, Every Breath You Take, Drops of Jupiter...songs like these not only defined their genres and outlined their times, but captured the souls of their players and audiences.
And influence current events? "Fortunate Son" and the Vietnam War, "Land of Illusion" and The Reagan Years, or Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit" and the early Civil Rights Movement were all moved sharply by the music. I could give examples all day (the teacher in me escaping, a bit) Music is the language of the times in joy, sorrow, protest and patriotism. It's the voice of the soul of events that inspire and provoke it.

5. How has technology affected the music industry? How has technology affected your career as a musician?

If the record companies had realized early on the potential of the internet for marketing and promoting music and capitalized on their resources and market share then, the industry would look VERY different today, with the majority of music production still in centralized control and independent businesses supporting its functions. For good or ill, though, they didn't move quickly enough and small indie businesses quickly dropped, gutted and ground the beast that was the music business and has been serving up the burgers ever since. Between the accessibility and speed the net provides and the availability of quality home digital recording, it's now possible to produce high quality recording at home for comparatively nothing. Unfortunately, this also means that (and this is my own figure picked out of the air) if 10% of the music that used to be made was great, 10 awful and 80 middling - and 10,000 new albums came out every year - there were already 9000 middling to awful albums bouncing off the top of the cumulative pile. Now, with gawd-only-knows how many new CD's coming out every month from everywhere, there's an enormous creaking tower of un-noteworthy tunes crushing everything in its path while the quality music struggles to find the high ground. Luckily, there are a few great outlets, podcasts and services helping weed through the harvest, including Pandora, Voices to Hear, Club Indie, and others. Finding and promoting excellence between these sources and artists is key to keeping quality original music thriving.
Personally, having been out of the business from 1996-2006 as I focused on teaching, the return has meant a very sharp learning curve, as everything is now done differently, from booking and promotions to recording and songwriting. While it's a little intimidating to have total access to information and markets also providing a never-ending view of the vast numbers of other artists trying to reach listeners, I've enjoyed very much having high-tech tools such as loop libraries and music computers for developing song ideas, desktop publishing, HD video capability and music-related social networks.

6. Now for my Barbara Walters question: If you were a pair of shoes what type of shoes would you be?

This is Colorado...gotta be hiking boots, baby!

NEW AND IMPROVED IR!

2012-01-22T14:02:00.000-08:00

Be sure and check out the NEW AND IMPROVED Ironwood Rain - coming to a venue near YOU!

Welcome CRAIG!!!

2011-12-30T14:01:00.000-08:00

I want to give a formal welcome to IR's new drummer, Craig Tomanini.
Craigs' a great musician, and a great guy. His solid, powerful presence will be seen, heard, and felt soon in upcoming IR performances.
For now we are enjoying inoculating... initiating... inculcating... our new IR brother on the plethora of originals and cover songs... do we actually have a plethora? Isn't that a musical instrument? (I think that's what Jimmy Page was playing on "Whole Lotta Love"...!)
Be sure to come check us out in the new year... you won't be disappointed!!!

Craig's IR Blog

2011-12-30T13:35:00.001-08:00

Toni's Blank Slate (A Gardener's Tabula Rasa!)

2011-12-12T20:23:00.000-08:00

I have a blank slate. It is a small back yard that I hope to turn into a garden next spring.

Like any normal person, I pulled out the tape measurer and took detailed measurements, along with photographs of all possible growing areas. These steps were followed by digging into my office supplies to find graph paper, determining the dimensions of cinderblocks, using the info to cut out paper blocks (to scale), and using those to prepare a variety of diagrams to determine the most efficient design that will yield the most plants/veggies. Here is what I came up with:

In the midst of all this, I also made a list of heirloom vegetables with notations on numbers of plants I could grow per square foot, which can be frozen, canned, besides being eaten fresh. With that info, I determined how many square feet I need to plant the vegetables I wanted, including room for flowers and herbs. This number I used to determine the most efficient layout of the garden.

Wait . . . Did I actually start this blog with the phrase “like any normal person”?? Disturbing as it sounds, the above is exactly what happened and exactly how I started my last garden. It was not (blessedly) how my garden at the Estes house actually came together.

Scotte and I have moved into our third house. I ‘designed’ gardens in both of our prior homes. The first garden started a little at a time until after 15 years, it had entirely overtaken the horse-shoe shaped, leaving only a narrow pathway for our poor dog to get to a small side yard.

The second garden was much the same. Starting with four 8x4 foot raised beds, this simple plan expanded until my garden encompassed an area approximately 60 x 120 feet. But, again, this did not happen in one season; the garden grew over a ten year period (and there were still areas unfinished when we moved out).

Despite my best intentions and OCD tendencies, in the end my gardens have come into being organically. One or two beds are dug and planted, and then as objects become available (I should be a crow for all my scavenging), beds of all shapes, sizes, and materials seem to sprout up all over the place. The end result is part aesthetic design, part Darwinian experiment (let’s see if this will grow here, or here, or here), and part accident—like life.

If history is destined to repeat itself, I anticipate my new garden will come into being much the same as my old ones have. I try to throw away the graph paper and start with one or two beds in the most prime location of the yard. We’ll see if I can muster that much self-control.

I’ll post pictures and updates as the garden takes shape.

Wishing you bountiful growth and only beneficial bugs.

Toni

Are all these your guitars?!?

2011-12-12T19:14:00.000-08:00

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In the old days days, I used to have a wife to tell me how many instruments I ought to have and where to store them among other things. Not having these restraints imposed (Galynn is much too cool for that!) has had the effect of doubling my guitar collection. None of them are fancy or very expensive but they have been multiplying and inhabiting ever increasing real estate in our home.

In the last few years, the kids have been pursuing their own musical ambitions and in doing so have purchased a few instruments of their own. Now we have guitars in nearly every room in the house including our "music room" where you are likely to find 5-8 guitars scattered around the piano at any given moment.

One day last week we were all sitting in our pile of guitars in the music room discussing weird tunings or the "spider chord" or something when the sheer magnitude of of our massive pile really struck us. The question soon came up: How many guitars do we actually have?

We called for a full muster: All guitars on deck. All strings would be counted.

After an exhaustive search of all rooms, closets and stray cases here is the final stats:
15 total stringed instruments with necks including:
6 acoustics, 5 hard body electrics, 2 hollow-bodies, and 1 each bass and mandolin.
We counted 90 total strings then caught ourselves in time before counting all the frets. Then we realized not all of our instruments were even in the house. Three were being stored over at mom's house.

Our picture is also filled with hidden guitars throughout as little toys or held by statuettes and even in the pics on the wall. The grand total number of guitars in the picture, therefore, cannot be fully computed without a team of dedicated counting professionals and right now all of mine are playing music.

Some People's Kids

2011-12-11T10:51:00.000-08:00

“Mr. Burns, know what?” Megan, a first grader in an uncustomary, yet very pretty and loud floral dress, swayed as she passed this common six year-old poser on to me while I surveyed the playground.

"No, I don't believe that I do. Tell me."

"My Mom made me wear this dress today, 'cause we was having pitchers taken." She held the thing by the hem along the bottom as she leaned this way and that, as if it might become wings at any moment that she would need to control. "I don't like wearing dresses, 'cause I can't climb the monkey bars. They’re dumb. My Mom makes me mad sometimes, Mr. Burns. I wanna wear jeans, but Mom says pitchers have to have dresses."

Dismissing the mental picture of Major League stars throwing fastballs in their pinstriped midis that Megan's Mom made them wear, I noticed her Hawaiian Punch-stained hands occasionally dropping between them a little brass token.

"You should keep your money in your pack or pockets, sweetie. The gravel out here eats kid-money, and almost never says thank you, or gives it back." I suggested with a grin.

"This is my lucky penny." She stopped and inspected it before handing it to me for my approval of its luckiness.

"It's very nice." I said. "Does it always bring you good luck?”

"Yes." Megan sighed as I handed it back to her. "With everything but my Mom."

I am blessed with these little exchanges hundreds of times a day in my capacity as a sixth grade teacher, and especially during playground duty at my school. The expressions of wonder, the surprises, and the everyday joys that burst forth from our kids are a continual source of amusement to me. They are also a source of strength, an exercise in character building, (for all of us), and proof to me of the existence of the Divine. After all, wonder is in many respects illogical, so the intellect by itself must deny the chuckles of God that I hear in classrooms and on foursquare courts. But by the same token, logically, no mortal needs to possess the gifts of humor or laughter, so they must have a deeper meaning. What objective purpose is served by lumps in the throat caused by hugs from newly band-aided eight year-olds, who are not as hurt or afraid because I was there at the right moment? How is it that things can be so much more wonderful when seen from three feet off the ground as opposed to six? No, a few inspired hugs, amazing stories, and inexplicable chuckles from my kids are all the evidence I need that angels fly over the playground and in the halls. They peek out from behind smiles still graced by a little bit of Mrs. Sellar's school lunches, forming them into sticky kisses blown, fantastic questions asked with secret grins, and tearful requests for me to go on the roof after another ball.

Though I have heard that "children are the future," that they are "our most precious resource" or that we should "believe the children," and I certainly agree to a point, I often sense that those muttering these little niceties don't spend as much time around kids as they do atop soapboxes. This accounts for an often-calculating reduction of kids to time, material, or subject matter in an attempt to sound grown-up. Kids are, above all else, just people. People who have not been around so long that they have forgotten that bugs are cool, that you only share your gum with somebody you know really, really well, and that sometimes gas is funny. Especially if coming from a properly embarrassed adult.

All this said, it is sometimes difficult to understand how to deal with kids and the various and sundry challenges that their education presents. How does one encourage, instruct, lead, or appropriately give affection to the children of others? How does one discipline them? How does one go about dealing with the parents of those in one’s charge following such activities? How in the world can all this be done without divine assistance or an advanced college degree? It is usually at such times that we are reminded how we each share the former, and the latter may come in time, if we find it's important. We’re never that old.

Meanwhile, there is fresh paint in the school. The stuff is everywhere. Having spent much of a recent summer at school putting it there, I think I know where it all is. Funny thing, much of it cannot be seen right away, because it was tucked away in little corners where no one looks unless they are painting, looking for stray supplies, or cleaning out cobwebs. I don't know why, but I kind of like the idea of it being found sometime, and the explorer commenting, "Gee, it even got painted back here." So many of the things that are done around the place are like that - going into the corners of lives without being noticed right away. I am glad to keep the tradition alive with something as simple as white latex.

Summer is gone for now, but for my own part, I always welcome my return to the land of Band-Aids, chalk dust, clinic occasional referrals, recess detentions, six-foot-guy jump rope attempts with four-foot girls, and my daily doses of "Know what, Mr. Burns?" I am curious to see how the kids have grown and what the year holds in store for us. I promise not to voice any of those stupid grown-up end-of-summer comments and questions I hated when I was a kid. "Did you have a nice summer?" for one. After all, that's what kids do. They have nice summers. Asking this is like asking your puppy if he had a nice bowl of steak scraps.
Less severe, yet also to be avoided are: "So, are you looking forward to school?” "Oh, you've grown, I didn't recognize you," (even if it's true), and never, ever any reference to how soon it will be now before boys actually like girl cooties, and vice versa. Much of maintaining good communication with kids is based on what you do not say. Grown-ups, too. Isn't that odd?

Oh, there you are Megan. I almost didn’t recognize...(Oops). What a great hugger you are. Those are wonderful new jeans your Mom got you for school! Welcome back.

Burn the Ships - Illustrated by NC Wyeth?

2011-12-06T19:37:00.000-08:00

I made an amazing discovery while doing some research for a series of paintings I'm working on. The cover illustration for our CD Burn the Ships was also done by famous illustrator N.C. Wyeth!

Who knew?

Hm... let's look at them side-by-side:

Then I discovered something even more amazing... if you look closely at the CD cover, you can see three figures on the hill in the distance; and, if you look closely at the Wyeth illustration, you can see four figures standing just by the trees in the distance below.

It's true. You can see 'em right there.

(I guess the crew was divided on whether or not the burning of ships was, in fact, a good idea. )

In all honesty, I had NO idea that I was creating a landscape that interlocked perfectly with the scene in the Wyeth piece. Up until now, I had never even seen this particular illustration.
That just goes to show what a powerful influence Wyeth and Howard Pyle had on me as an artist, from a very young age!
What a bizarre coincidence! Perhaps there's even a Burn the Ships graphic novel, or comic book out there too!

My painting of Johnny Cash to donate to the CD Relief Silent Auciton

2011-10-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

The high bidder, Sean Pound, with "The Man In Black" and Mikey:

Oct. 16, Oriental Theater
Sean was happy, I was happy to see the piece go to a good home, and we raised some money for LLS in the process. Everybody wins!

Here is the finished painting-
"The Man In Black"

Acrylic, 16x16"

This is the painting that I'm creating for the silent auction at the 1^st Annual CD Relief Concert.

Progress shots:

Please forgive the mediocre quality of the photos; the camera is on the fritz, and I had to resort to using the webcam on my laptop. The final picture is professionally done by The Painted Pixel.
Here's a quick overview of some sketches, the realistic drawing, the exaggerated sketch, and the painting WIP:

Several talented local artists will be donating their work to the silent auction to raise money for the Colorado chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

After experimenting with several ideas, I decided on an 'exaggerated-features' painting of Johnny Cash – an iconic figure in the world of music. I felt it was fitting for an event featuring such great musical talent: Chris Daniels, Hazel Miller, Jock Bartley (Firefall,) Freddy Goudy (Freddie Henchi Band,)Tequila Mockingbird, Demon Funkies, Something Underground, Dave Preston, and of course, Ironwood Rain.

After gathering together a boat load of reference photos, I started exploring the concept with a few dozen sketches. I took the photos to work and 'workshopped' the concept with fellow caricature artist Ben Bloss. (That's one of the things I love about working for *LOL* Caricature Company – every day is another 'mini-workshop' and a chance to learn and share ideas with my colleagues.)
Man, what an interesting face! Here are just a few of the sketches:

This helps me to really understand the features, since I am not merely copying a photograph – I am pushing and pulling the features in an attempt to find an instantly recognizable likeness. The idea is that if you could look at a thumbnail of the drawing, and instantly know who it was, then it is a successful likeness. In order to do that, I'm experimenting with which features to emphasize, and which features to play down.
Once I really started to 'get' Johnny's face, and I felt I had gathered enough knowledge, I knew which sketch would work as the main concept.

Then I played with the drawing, exploring the exaggeration even more...

(It's funny, I thought I was exaggerating at the time I was doing the first sketch...)
I was amazed that Johnny's face lent itself better to stretching horizontally rather than vertically. And his mouth shape is really unusual. Then of course, there's the trademark creases and folds in his facial features. It's a constant push and pull, squishing and stretching...
I did an enlarged drawing to get a more concise plan.

Then I primed a 16x16” canvas with neutral gray gesso, and began blocking in the drawing.
Deciding that a black-and-white piece would be appropriate for “The Man In Black,” I mixed a 9-step value scale of grays using Bone Black and Titanium White. (I may add an accent in color at the end … we'll see...)
Next, I laid in the main shadow areas with a simple wash; then I began gradually laying in the light areas and building up the form in the lights.

After that, it's a matter of turning the from from the shadow to the light areas, building up the form in the light, and constantly stepping back to look at the result. At this point, I am taking care to keep the values in the middle range. I usually push to the extreme darks and lights early, which will not work for this piece. Once I am satisfied with the overall form I can begin to push the values out to the extremes.

Now the painting is at the stage where I start to glaze the shadows to get those really 'dark' darks, and drybrush the lights to get the highlights. This is tricky, and fun!

One of the main elements I want to retain through this whole process is the expression in Johnny's eyes; totally “badass” and at the same time "woeful..."

It's kinda strange - After getting used to the piece, it takes me a while to remember that the features are exaggerated. I feel that the painting is a much better likeness, and when I look at the sketches, they don't look as recognizable - even though they are more 'realistic...' That's the magic of caricature.

I took the painting in progress to show the guys, and also to get a look at it in a different environment than just my studio. I think they liked it... hopefully it will be even more dynamic when it's done!

Even now, I continue to do drawings and sketches - even though I have already gotten well into the final piece. It's a great warm-up for a day of drawing, it gives me a chance to explore the face more fully, and because it's just plain fun.

10/02/11:
Building up the lights, layering the shadows... then going back in and unifying the whole thing; then doing it again...

More photos to come as the painting progresses....!

2012...Really?

2011-09-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

2012...really?

2012 is the apocalyptic nirvana; a year in which everything is destined to resolve in any number of redemptive, cataclysmic, or anticlimactic ways, depending on one's personal tastes. Since it seems to be gaining popularity as the new year approaches and since I had done some research on the topic for my manuscript "Apocalypse: The Forever Ending Story" I offer this excerpt to point out that there is more than one "End" on the menu for 2012 and each becomes progressivly more bizarre and amusing. Listed here are just a few of the foremost selections from 2012's millennial melieu.

According to Dr Jose Arguelles, August 16 -17, 1987 was the date of The Harmonic Convergence, the beginning of a New Age of enlightenment and cosmic understanding brought about by a propitious alignment of the planets. Incense burners worked overtime as the Aquarian faithful gathered to meditate and welcome the New Age. A cosmic beam from space was believed to have struck the planet and provided energy to transform our primitive monkey brains into multi-dimensional receivers capable of loving one another, understanding our place in the universe, and listening to Yanni with greater appreciation. The endgame of this transformation came with an option. Either we accept the new learning and do away with war, environmental degradation, and the Dark Side of the Force, or humanity will be destroyed just before Christmas 2012, when the ancient Mayan calendar runs out of tomorrows.

Unfortunately, quick analysis of the current state of human affairs shows that very little evidence exists for our becoming substantially more in-tune, caring, or sensitive. According to Arguelles' theory, this means that we will be at the mercy of his perceived Mayan apocalypse. However, his calendrical fears bear closer consideration.

Until their mysterious collapse, the Mayans used a complex calendar that was unique to them, having developed quite distinctly from those of Europe and Asia. Those who best understood its subtleties unfortunately either died of imported infections or had bright, pointy objects driven through their bronzed bodies during the early Spanish occupation. Like most modern beliefs based on ancient systems, therefore, much of what is supposedly known today about the calendar and other Mayan systems is conjecture and extrapolation by people with very different cultures and cosmological assumptions.

What can be determined with some certainty, however, is that the Mayans were consummate mathematicians, employing temporal understanding, sophisticated arithmetic, and stellar geometry. They therefore knew what zero and even negative numbers meant, which was nice. One would think that this precision, coupled with their interest in astronomy, would have made for a precise rendering of heavenly events. However, the Mayan calendar is not in fact primarily concerned with moon cycles or the kind of seasonal considerations one would expect in an agricultural society, and it is only roughly aligned with the movements of the sun*. The Mayans knew this, of course, but didn't fret over it because their interest was not so much in mapping out mundane earthly events as much as understanding history on a cosmic scale. The Mayan calendar is, in effect, a day timer in God years - what the late Douglass Adams would have termed a schedule for "life, the universe, and everything." It showed the cycles of creation and the circular nature of existence.
Because of this cyclical representation, suggesting that the Mayan calendar predicts an "End" at all is absurd, particularly when realizing that our understanding of the calendar is itself a theoretically reconstructed circular pattern. When a dog chases its tail, it also creates a circular pattern. The difference between the playful pup and those who continue to search for apocalypse in the Mayan calendar is that the dog never actually expects to catch up with itself.

Bible Code author Michael Drosnin produced yet another strained word-search showing an Old Testament warning of a killer comet destined to wreak hell on Earth in 2012. The secret decoded message reads, "Comet, 2006, Year Predicted for World, 2012, Earth Annihilated, It (comet) Will Be Crumbled, I will Tear to Pieces, 2012". In order to assess the efficacy of this and other Bible Code predictions, it is important to note that Drosnin's "code" is based on several key criteria, including that:
"The original text of the Old Testament was written in Hebrew."
"This text was carefully preserved down through the centuries by monks and rabbis whose sole function in life was the safeguarding of this original Hebrew text."
"The computer can also display the entire original Hebrew text of the Bible as a gigantic crossword puzzle. Coded messages appear when ELS [Equidistant Hebrew Letter Sequence Code] finds related words and concepts horizontally, vertically, and diagonally."
"Dates are coded according to the Hebrew calendar but are translated to AD for clarity."
(Drosnin, Michael (2003.) Annotated Index: The Bible Code and Bible Code II)

Point by point, analyzing this system turns up multiple flaws. For instance, the original languages of the Old Testament were Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. Moreover, Hebrew has no vowels, so interpreting words and phrases into English can provide the layperson a number of satisfying and spooky variations within the possible “translations.”
The function of monks and rabbis was often to translate text into other languages and dialects, as well as to serve as occasional illustrators and copy clerks. Furthermore, Hebrew, like any language, developed and evolved over time as it incorporated concepts and language conventions of other cultures - an event that was quite common in the culturally-diverse Levant of biblical times. Also, the liberal code-geometry makes finding hidden messages like shooting Vesica Pisces in a barrel.
Finally, the various western calendars have undergone numerous revisions in the past several millennia. The Hebrew calendar to which Drosnin is likely referring does not even have the same number of days as any other calendar in use since Anno Domini (AD) was in vogue, let alone the more precise accounting of the Common Era (CE.) Therefore "clarity" is about the last thing one would find through trying to align ancient dates, Bible Code discoveries, and a modern calendar.

In response to a challenge from Drosnin himself, critics have since used his technique to decode Moby Dick, finding hidden messages involving the assassinations of Gandhi, Trotsky, and Martin Luther King. One even discovered the phrase, "the code is bogus" in Genesis. Drosnin has nothing to fear regarding future success, however, as accuracy has nothing at all to do with popular book sales in the apocalyptic genre.

Ethnobotanist, psychedelic humanitarian, and Gaia groupie Terence McKenna casts out his fears, as well as a few I Ching sticks, and discovers Novelty Theory. In this scenario, culture-shaking events, such as the agricultural and industrial revolutions, the computer age, nanotechnology, breakthroughs in neuroscience and such are happening at an exponentially increasing rate. This rate will continue to quicken until humanity reaches "The Omega Point". At this instant, change becomes the natural state of the Universe and mankind sheds its reliance on matter, becoming very Star Treky higher beings. He explains it all by saying that at "the moment of the solstice and the heliacal rising of the galactic center, levels of planetary novelty will exponentially increase, [perhaps including] Hyperspatial Breakthrough, Planetesimal Impact, Alien Contact, Historical Metamorphosis, Metamorphosis of Natural Law, Solar Explosion, or Quasar Ignition at the Galactic Core." Any one of these could serve as the catalyst for our ascension to a higher plane of being; which is good, because any one of these might be fatal as well. His eccentricity had its merits, however. Speaking of his own impending death from brain cancer in 2000, he told a friend "Everything is a blessing, and everything comes as a gift. And I don't regret anything about the situation I find myself in. We're all under sentence of 'moving up' at some point in our lives. I have an absolute faith that the universe prefers joy and distils us with joy and this is what religion is trying to download to us, and this is what every moment of life is trying to do - if we can open to it. And we psychedelic people, if we could secure that death has no sting, we would have done the greatest service to suffering intelligence that can be done. And I feel that it's close, and I feel strong. I feel strong because of this community and the plants that it rests on, and the ancient practices that it rests on, and I am full of hope, not only for my own small problems, but for humanity in general"

When our End really does come, may we meet it with the same spirit and courage. (But perhaps fewer psychoactive substances.) Peace, Terry.

In a work that makes Erich Von Daniken look like a classical scholar, wannabe Egyptologist Graham Hancock cobbles together pyramids, the Nazca lines, Sphinx theories, flying saucers, flood stories and discredited plate tectonics notions to produce Fingerprints of the Gods. His theory is that an advanced prehistoric civilization saw their own apocalypse was nigh and answered the call by coding information about themselves into ancient myths and architecture. Once the cataclysm struck, it moved their home base thirty degrees south of its previous position, where we know it today as Antarctica. Also included in the embedded messages is a warning that the same event, known as "Earth Crustal Displacement," and not accepted by geologists as a valid scientific hypothesis, is going to happen to us in December, 2012. Holiday retail sales may never recover.

Australian radio-ham Kev Peacock determines that the Sun is about to perform a magnetic field reversal, causing a similar occurrence here on Earth. Flying saucers, alien abductions, biblical numerology, Atlantis rising, a NASA conspiracy to fake the Apollo moon landings, cattle mutilations, and a very Scientology-like alien explanation of human origins combine to round out his theory. While others cheapen their warnings of global doom by offering them free to the masses, Kev instead makes his predictions available for a fee in the form of payments for an electronic book. His next work is reported to be a fantastic fiction; a distinct departure from the hard-nosed research that can prove so draining on one's creative side.

* The Mayans actually used three different calendars. These included the 360-day Haab civil calendar, made up of 18 periods of 20 days, the Tzolkin ceremonial calendar which employed 20 periods of 13 days, and the Long Count, a device that was primarily used for historical purposes and record keeping, as it could locate any date for thousands of years in the past or the future. For our purposes, references to "the Mayan Calendar" refer to the Long Count. (Not to be confused with the "Tall Count" Vronsky from the Tchaikovsky ballet Anna Karenina, which is depressing but not necessarily apocalyptic.)

The Constitution

2011-09-05T15:34:00.000-07:00

This is an older piece - daughter is in her 20's now and I can't call her "short stuff" anymore - but it seems right to revisit it considering current events. Hope you enjoy and comment!

The Constitution

by
James Scotte Burns II

"Dad, why don't you be president?"
It certainly seemed an innocent enough question from a ten year old, and well within the bounds of the political discussion then in progress. Yet, as I considered the option later, the answer became much more involved than the initial response I supplied. Not more appealing, just involved. My daughter seemed satisfied as I declined her nomination for president, explaining that I could not abide those humor-challenged Armani drones following us around for the rest of our lives, peering at us through their Ray Charles disguises. Secret Service guys are rarely adept at playing four-square or pushing a swing without getting a bunch of wires tangled around their brief cases. Besides, we know how Mom gets when denied quiet nights at home, and the White House is known to harbor unkempt guests from god-knows-where nearly every night. I love what remains of my country, but household harmony comes first.

Still, as I lay awake on the sofa that night, watching Star Trek reruns as if something unexpected might happen, I pondered why fellows like me or Carter Braxton, (one of the ten Founding Farmers signing the Declaration of Independence), no longer vie for high office. Something seemed fundamentally screwed up. How can a nation founded on the noble principle of a representative government of citizens serving their country and then going back home to grow tobacco, deteriorate into the current comic fiefdom displayed on what passes for the news these days? A nation ruled by a permanent cabal of Alpha-lawyers and philandering bluebloods intent on regulating and bureaucratizing every facet of the society whose industry provides them the lofty perch on which they park their adipose butts? This sobering contemporary scenario left me with two obvious questions. What the hell happened to us, and what if anything, could I do about it if I were president?

First thing's first. What the hell did happen to us? What brought this great nation to its hands and knees and made it whimper its insecurity like some cowering, baby-powdered toy poodle pissing on itself in the back of a perfume stained Mary Kay Cadillac? There is no single causal factor involved in this lycanthropic conversion and the change happened over several decades.

It probably began with the ratification of the sixteenth Amendment in 1913. This is the act allowing government to confiscate a percentage of people's earnings before they had even seen the money. The self-righteous bastards followed this in 1919 by outlawing liquor, thinking that if the citizenry bit on that income tax thing, they were probably stoned out of their proletariat gourds. We straightened up only long enough to figure out that females ought to be able to vote, since they were helping to pay for everything (Amendment 19). Next, we invented talking movies, assuming that Hollywood always had important things to say, flushed most of our personal resources down the sewers of New York, made a New Deal with what remained of our unconfiscated wealth, and then decided it was time to start drinking again.

Following on the heels of these little morsels of history, we fought against world totalitarian domination; something at which we were really quite good. Then we formed the United Nations, so that everyone else in the world could share in the bounty of that sixteenth Amendment thing. Somewhere in there we learned how to incinerate vast areas of hostile territory using little more than a big uranium-rich Heathkit. Americans accomplished much of this under the popular and fatherly reign of the most propaganda-dependent president of the century. Then we passed the 22nd Amendment limiting presidential terms, even if we really like the guy. Go figure.

Since then, we have fought all over the world but only had one more war. We've had one president felled by criminals and one who was a criminal. (Maybe two, but we weren't interested, since it had already been done) One president lost an election because of uncertainty regarding what his lips had done. One of our more recent leaders even did a respectable job but people became dissatisfied with him because their TV's whispered to them that he was only letting them keep their money so that poor people couldn't have it!

We launched a "women's movement" that required ladies to take off their brassieres and then run about screaming that guys were gawking at their breasts. A "peace movement" appeared, responsible for more riots than general admission Who concerts. A "worker's movement" erupted, wherein people went on strike, which is like...not working. Various other political movements further ensured that nothing political ever moved. As fewer of us could agree on what we thought about all this, let alone what to do about it, a seemingly endless parade of beatniks, hippies, yuppies, puppies, rappers, rapists, rock stars, victims, leaders, pundits, junkies, prophets, pedophiles, anchormen, beauty queens, born-agains and bums clambered over one another for our attention and our approval. Those Americans remaining sane through all this were sufficiently distracted that we scarcely noticed as the barbarians at our gates matured. They then mated with the sanctimonious intellectuals and fundamentalist blowhards that we never invite to parties. This unholy union produced the contemporary breed of bureaucrat/legislator/judges who now rifle through our pockets with such regularity, it hardly tickles anymore.
Now we find ourselves in a country in which we win a battle with the Edu-crats over school policy, only to find that the Legi-crats are stealing our land. We turn back an assault by the Socio-crats on our rights to self-defense while the Busni-crats throttle domestic commerce. All the while, efforts to turn back the tide of erosion against our freedoms are undermined by the timid and ignorant trading their votes and rights for more government "security" while the long arm of the law becomes just one big manicured finger.

Considering the enormity and complexity of the problem, I have concluded that a president can do nothing to return us to the ideals generated by our forebears. Therefore, I do not want the job, thank you. However, I would submit that the collective power of the people, manifest in our framing document, The Constitution, retains the power necessary to stem the tide and ignite an American Renaissance. To be effective, however, two things would have to happen.

First, politicians, judges and anyone else subject to oath-taking on the Constitution would have to hold the highest regard for the sanctity of their covenant. Treating transgressions of their oaths as acts of treason punishable by public execution might be an effective incentive here. If carried on local PBS channels during pledge drives, public broadcasting would be flush for decades.

Second, a clarification needs to commence, wherein we could repeal superfluous, inane, outdated or destructive additions to the original document, reforming obsolete or obscure language in order to make the intent and effect of the whole understandable for the next century. Since this is my idea, and I turned down the whole president thing, allow me the opportunity to suggest how this redefinition might unfold. I am doing this with my kids in mind, so you can trust me. Here we go.

We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a union which makes more sense than the oozing mess we've made in the last half-century, re-establish justice, aspire to domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defense, promote the GENERAL Welfare, but not your individual welfare, since that's your job, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and everybody else after we are dead, do put into effect and recognize as law this Constitution of the United States of America. And we really mean it this time.

Articles I-VII, all sections:
Having read through the original articles of the Constitution, finding them to be both wise and wholly ignored by the politipaths we have let slobber on them for their own benefit in the past, all articles are to be considered Federal Law and enforced as such. An addition to Article II, somewhere between sections 3 and 4 shall establish as unlawful the act of Executive Order. All such previous orders will become available to the people, on display in the Library of Congress. Figuring out how to implement the forgotten articles and dispersing the riots following the release of the aforementioned Executive Orders will fall to the House of Representatives. This should build some character in the bastards.

Amendment One:
Congress will make no law telling people what to believe, who God is, what God wants or behave in any way that restricts people thinking about it for themselves. Congress may not restrict what people say, no matter how stupid or ignorant it may be, or what the press can say about it, even if they are wrong. Citizens may visit with anyone they wish, in any number, so long as they do not make a mess or start a fight. If they all want to tell Congress to go suck an egg, well, that's just fine.

Amendment Two:
Since the world is full of bullies, some of whom have guns, and the government is not above falling into this category, American citizens have right to own and carry guns if they like. If anyone goes and does something stupid with one though, other citizens have the right to shoot them with their gun and give it someone more responsible.

Amendment Three:
As long as the country is not at war, the government may not use private property for military purposes. If one of our soldiers needs a place to stay or a sandwich, he/she can just ask and most folks will oblige. We are all on the same side here.

Amendment Four:
Since your stuff is your stuff and your home your castle, nobody from any government agency can take or look at your things without your permission. The only way we, (hereafter referred to as The People), allow this is if the government has a really good reason that a judge will believe. This must include what the government thinks you are doing, what they want to look for, and where they are going to look for it. In that case, the judge will give them a permission slip that you can see first.

Amendment Five:
No American has to answer to a crime, except when a Grand Jury agrees they're in really big trouble, unless they are in the military, in which case, they should have known better, after all the money we spent training them; nor is anybody going to be tried twice for the same offense or be required to say things which make them look like a criminal, even if it's the truth. No one will be executed, jailed or have their stuff taken away without a fair trial, and if we, (you know, The People), do take anybody's stuff, we have to pay a decent price for it.

Amendment Six:
Any person accused of a crime gets to have a trial as soon as we can pencil it in. Their trial will be public and judged by a jury of people who are not taking the whole thing personally, for one reason or another, and who live right around where the defendant does. The accused person has to be told exactly what we think they did, be able to confront anybody who says they did it, and make those people show up to say so, even if they have other things to do. Other people who might be able to help the accused person have to show up too. Since the whole thing can get a little complicated, he/she can always bring a lawyer, if they want. Heck, we'll even pay for it, if we have to.

Amendment Seven:
In a case where no law is broken, but you get your panties in a knot over something stupid someone's done costing you more than a hundred bucks, (It used to be twenty, but what with inflation and all...), you can sue them in front of a jury. Nothing that the jury decides can be decided again in another court, except according to the local rules for suing people. Having said rules explained to you for two hundred dollars an hour will give you some idea as to why lawyers have so few friends except for other lawyers.

Amendment Eight:
Bail will not be set so high that only mega-celebrities and other rich guys get to walk before trial. Fines also have to be set at a level where there is a chance of paying them. Further, we don't beat people, realign their anatomy, or do any other weird things to them as punishment for crimes.

Amendment Nine:
Just because we spelled a few things out here as rights, it doesn't mean that we don't allow or don't like anything else reasonable people can do or say that we didn't mention.

Amendment Ten:
Any government power we haven't talked about here, or that we didn't come right out and say States can't do, are reserved to the States, or the People, which, I hope you all remember, is supposed to be the same thing.

All of the above were what the wise guys who started this American thing thought we needed to have to make a go of it, pretty much forever. They are what became known as the Bill of Rights and they worked pretty well on their own for a long time. Although the founders did allow for changes to be made now and then, they made the process such a pain in our collective backside that frivolous or silly things would hopefully be weeded out before mucking things up. In fact, nobody really thought seriously about adding anything until 1794, when the third Congress proposed the Eleventh Amendment, which was a pretty good idea, but got the ball rolling toward the current mess of twenty-seven amendments of which we currently try to make sense. Many of these later additions are merely legislative flotsam which we must bring on board, examine, and either sink forever, or safely bring to shore and show off. Following is a brief summary of these, whether and why we keep them. Again, you can trust me here. I'm a reasonably smart guy who is doing this for his kids, and I wouldn't do anything which is going to make us all look stupid two hundred years from now.

Amendment Eleven:
The Federal judiciary may not go sticking it's big nose into any lawsuits against individual states.
We keep this one. It's hard enough getting legal satisfaction against a state government for the occasional Stupid Government Trick without Uncle Sam throwing a bunch of their stuffed suits into the mix. It really isn't any of their business anyway, unless they are at fault, in which case they can be named in the lawsuit.

Amendment Twelve: Deals with the way we choose the President and Vice-President. The original text is still quite adequate here, even if it isn't very amusing.
Some of this amendment was later altered by the twentieth amendment, which we shall summarily ignore for now, since all it does is complicate the issue of terms when viewed in the context of the original concept of our government, where the President is just an executive and not a shah or the owner of Microsoft, or something really important.

Amendment Thirteen:
No one gets to own anyone else.
Contrary to popular belief, many of our founders were opposed to slavery from the beginning, but yielded on including abolition as one of the original "inclusive amendments" in order to have the Constitution ratified by all thirteen states, some of whose representatives were not as "enlightened" by their times as we have been led to believe. Needless to say, we keep this one and shouldn't have taken so long figuring it out. Thanks, Abe.

Amendment Fourteen:
States cannot restrict rights somebody already has as a U.S. Citizen.
This probably could have gone without saying, but since it is here and makes sense, we'll keep it. However, it also contains subsections worth mentioning separately, as there are a few minor alterations necessary to bring them up to speed.
Section 2- Delete all use of the word "male" preceding "inhabitant" or "citizen" and we probably ought to discuss whether or not Indians are actually taxed and therefore exempt from representation.
Section 4- It would be wise, at this point, to begin to question the validity
of the public debt of the U.S.. Maybe it's just me.

Amendment Fifteen:
All citizens of the U.S. get to vote, regardless of their current or past race or color.
Or anything else, for that matter, so long as they aren't in prison or ignorant. Yes, I know it sounds mean, but we need to pass legislation related to this amendment which would prohibit ignorant people from voting before they at least read a book, or something.

Amendment Sixteen: REPEAL
This amendment allowed the federal government to confiscate ridiculous amounts of money that it did not generate in order to redistribute it to people who did not earn it, who then vote for those that give it away. From now on, the Feds must get by on a ten percent national sales tax, tariffs, fees for federal services and whatever their lawyers and publicists might like to kick in. Donations are always welcome. For those of you screaming "What about the poor" we have transferred about five TRILLION dollars of New Society/Great Deal handouts, which is roughly the same amount as the current national debt, and yet, the percentage of people living in poverty in the U.S. is the same as it was when we started. I don't think that worked very well. While you people are figuring out what the hell to do about it, the rest of us are going to save for our families and I’ll give some of what used to get taken away from me to my Unitarian church, which does a pretty good job of helping the poor. There’s symmetry to it all, somehow.

Amendment Seventeen: REPEAL
Seventeen made the election of senators a function of popular vote. Bad idea. The Senate, being a supposedly more deliberative body, must be informed, subject to reasonable oversight, and be representative of the states and those states' House members. The election of senators is therefore the responsibility of the House. This is also a less expensive method, saving us from having to pay for the privilege of listening to the self-important wretches whine and kvetch at us every election cycle.

Amendment Eighteen: REPEALED
The prohibition of liquor was a perfect example of just how much can go terribly wrong when government gets on a high horse and does something for our own good. Now, don't get me wrong, drinking can lead to a host of personal and societal problems, but then so can stone-cold sober stupidity and I don't believe we can legislate against that with any certainty of compliance either.

Amendment Nineteen:
Girls can vote too.
No one in their right mind would suggest touching this one with a ten-foot flaming brassiere, so be aware of the fact that God wanted ladies to vote, or he'd never have created school boards, independent tickets, and JFK.

Amendment Twenty:
The President and Vice President begin their terms on Jan. 20 and Senators & representatives on Jan. 3.
Originally, I was going to repeal this one, because it seems silly that grownups can't get to work on time without a Constitutional amendment, but if it keeps us from arguing about it, well, I guess we can live with it. The subsections of this amendment deal with the responsibilities of Congress in picking new leaders if the Big Cheeses turn out to be illegal aliens or get their tickets punched to the great White House in the Sky before they've passed the baton, so to speak. Personally, I'd put Larry Miller in charge until the next election, but if we have chosen our representatives well, they should be able to send in a decent second-stringer.

Amendment Twenty-One:
O.K., we must've been stoned, or something. Forget Amendment Eighteen. What? We already did that? Oooh. We forgot. Anybody got a tylenol?
Seriously, we passed an amendment to un-pass another amendment. Couldn't we have just said we were kidding and borrowed an eraser?

Amendment Twenty-Two:
Nobody gets to be Prez for longer than two four-year terms, including if they were only there the first time because the last guy skipped town, and no one gets the Big Chair more than once.
After all, other people might like a turn, too.

Amendment Twenty-Three: REPEAL
Giving the District of Columbia a vote in Presidential elections was a silly idea. It's not like it's a real state, or for that matter, even a real place. Next thing you know, they'll want to give a vote to Hollywood, and then Boulder, and then Martha's Vineyard; God only knows where it will end if we don't stop the madness.

Amendment Twenty-Four:
Everyone who reads a book now and then gets to vote, even if they haven't paid their taxes, including poll taxes, which are dirty pool and therefore shall be left up to the labor unions.
This was a really good idea and keeps the government from blackmailing us for tax money by withholding our most basic right until we ante up.

Amendment Twenty-Five:
If the President can't hack the job for any reason, dies or gets canned, the vice President gets the job, which is why he was hired and is kind of a no-brainer here. The President must keep the veep seat warm with somebody qualified to run things in case the Prez takes a powder. If the President needs to step out for a while, he has to at least send a nice card to Congress and let them know what the hell's going on. If the VP and three quarters of congress determine that the Big Guy (or Gal....it could happen) is a nut, or acts like they've been sniffing Sterno in the Rose Garden, they can move him to a smaller room and run things either until he's better, or until we all pick a new quarterback.
There are lengthy subsections in the original copy of this amendment, but this pretty well sums it up. It is amazing how many words we seem to need to argue over, the later in our history we travel through the amendment process. I think that by 1967, when this little nugget passed, our self-professed Alpha-males of legislation were working by the hour.

Amendment Twenty-Six: REPEAL
Voting privileges are not a function of age, sex, religion, national origin, or even species, for that matter, so long as you are literate and informed on the issues and candidates. Therefore, the only requisite to vote, beyond proof of citizenship, is that you check out a book once in a while at the library where you will no longer have to go to get all those income tax forms.
Limiting voting by age is arbitrary and completely ignores the salient issue underlying why it is so difficult to do a coherent job of electing people and passing initiatives: ignorant people pulling levers for stuff they can't read. Once we get the government out of the education business put that new "off" chip in all the TV's, this problem should become more manageable.

Amendment Twenty-Seven: REPEAL
Allowing a bunch of lawyers to effect their own pay increases under any circumstance is just stupid. From now on, you people up there get forty thousand dollars a year, indexed to inflation, plus expenses, room and board. If the money means that much more to you than the service, then maybe you'd better start sending out some resumes. (Use your own copier, though, and if you need a few stamps, ask that Rostenkowski guy).
Yes, I know the argument that "If you want qualified people, you have to pay them what they can make in the private sector." Horseshit. Many of these folks never had a real job, so how the hell would they know what they could make? Besides, even if things slow down for awhile, I'd rather have a bunch of mechanics, teachers, secretaries, and soldiers serving their country, and then going back to their lives, than a gaggle of self-impressed, overpaid bureaucratic page-turners serving themselves, then retiring on our nickel and thumbing their non-inhaling noses at us. So there.

Now, by this time some of you may have begun to wonder about a few loose ends not covered directly by this Constitution. Items such as state laws, water rights, environmental laws, medical oversight, foreign policy and the like would take a few meetings in order to hammer out the rules. Nevertheless, they don't belong in the framing document and if we can all behave like grownups, we'll work through these a few at a time. I have to go put the kids to bed, but you all are welcome to chew on this for a bit and get back to me. I will have to find a way of telling my little girl that I can't be president, but I think she'll understand when I let her know that I am practicing to be a Founding Father. She trusts me with the Dad thing, and as much as I love my nation, that is a much bigger and more important job to she and God and I. That buck stops here. Good night, honey.

Ironwood Rain Live! Photos from gigs

2011-05-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

a selection of photos of Ironwood Rain in performance...

Ironwood Rain Photos

2011-05-01T20:14:00.001-07:00

Ironwood Rain Live
- photos of IR from live performances

IR Photos through the years
- a collection of rare, vintage photos of the illustrious IR members...

IR Photos through the years

2011-05-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

Here's some vintage photos of IR members through the years.
Set the wayback machine to... WAAAAY BACK!
See if you recognize these familiar faces from days gone by:

Did you guess right?
Mikey (1969)

Scotte (1983):

JJ:

Apocalypse: The Forever Ending Story (excerpt 3)

2011-05-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

All the Time in the World: Varieties of Doom

God's Wrath: The Happy Ending

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
- Douglas Adams

Medical advances neuter the most dreadful plagues and afflictions, science provides unimaginable advances, and most of the world aspires to peace, while unparalleled discoveries, greater freedoms, and better standards of living have been on their latest march for nearly two centuries. Amidst all this, what accounts for the apocalyptic cast of mind of so many free and affluent people? The calamitous events that punctuate even the best of times play their roles, of course. Yet, an apocalyptic worldview does not depend on any specific event or scenario. It is instead a wonderfully clever device for dealing with the anxiety and uncertainty of mortality by making at least our collective fate predictable. Other factors include feelings of inadequacy or sinfulness that lead to fears of divine displeasure. As these concerns are generalized and then understood as a supposedly inherent human corruption(9) , they become collective and are incorporated into systems over time. Conditioning by such systems encourages the belief that people cannot be truly happy before death brings them to heaven; by extension, humanity cannot be fulfilled until it collectively passes away.

Thinking about this extinction and naturally looking for pattern and purpose, human beings try to make some sense of the absurdity of mortality, expanding it to cosmic proportions. A fondness for dualism then asserts itself, providing the satisfying good against evil, God versus Antigod notions that make apocalyptic tales so much easier to understand and enjoy. Complicating the issue, however, which is among humanity's most extraordinary talents, the anger and frustration of an apocalyptic ending becomes frightening. So, these feelings are projected through a creator/destroyer God who is infinitely wise, lovingly devoted, and very much larger than us. God then exercises His own anger and frustration, which is understandable, considering how naughty we had already admitted to being. This makes arguing about the whole affair quite pointless, so most folks just go along. The circle complete, there is order established amidst the chaos of existence, meaning within an otherwise unfathomable universe, and a central place for us in a grand divine plan. This is seen by most folks as far superior to a future as poorly understood future fossils in an existential nothingness.(10)

God the Creator in this way becomes the destroyer/redeemer, wiping us from the physical face of creation for our own good. The eighth century BCE poet/philosopher Hesiod, working in this vein, said that man's only hope was to abandon himself completely to divine will. He pictured history as a series of deteriorating dispensations(11), or stages of existence, culminating with unprecedented social calamity and general warfare before humankind was obliterated for its sinfulness and debauchery. God would turn Creation right around and take everyone home because they could not behave properly.

While this scenario might seem a fearful prospect, it is not viewed as such by the apocalyptically-minded for two primary reasons. First, apocalypse provides the aforementioned predictable ending to creation mythology. If there is a known beginning, there must be rising action, climax, and falling action before the story's conclusion. It fits how we understand life, literature, and afterlife. Next, it provides a comforting sense of moral or social justice. Those who have wronged or ridiculed us will be punished at last without our having to personally act against them. This is particularly helpful when the antagonist is really large and powerful, as was the case with the Babylonians, Romans, Catholic Church, and others. It is an expedient point of view - supplying a reason for the state of the world, a just reward for the faithful, a horrible punishment for the wicked, and eternal bliss afterward in a place where neither uncertainty nor Romans need darken the doorstep again.

The comfort of apocalypse is little different today. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent and point out the guilty. It affirms the need to believe, offers succor to the downtrodden, and promises that those who refuse to obey the rules and confirm the faith will pay the ultimate price for sewing their seeds of doubt. Commies, pagans, and heretics will convert or perish. Better yet, New Agers will get theirs in The End. But wait! They have an End of their own, and it is neither comforting nor pretty. Unless you're a tree.

No Redeeming Value: The New Age of Apocalypse

It's a wonder we don't dissolve in our own bath water.
- Pablo Picasso

"Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
"I'm not sure that man needs the help."
- Calvin & Hobbes

Because the West has developed into a largely secular society in the sense that we do not believe that God causes lightning or that illness is necessarily a heavenly punishment, many people no longer expect divine apocalyptic visitations or cosmic events heralded by trumpets and the pitter-pat of angelic sandals. Superstitious and obsessive habits of mind persist however, and so we invent various secular apocalypses such as the Y2K/millennia frenzy. These apocalyptic devices not only support our psychological need for neat beginnings and endings, but they do so in a way that satisfies modern sensibilities, such as a computer malady in place of plague, or disaster from space rather than from heaven. In addition to, or despite, various religious concepts of our inevitable and imminent demise, a definitively secular apocalyptic assumption permeates popular media and literature. Consider the numbers of books and articles panting about looming environmental catastrophes including global warming, invasive non-indigenous species, loss of biodiversity, overpopulation, mutating viruses, and myriad other aspects of Gaia's revenge. This tally does not even include those who fear cataclysmic world war or destruction from space, either through some impersonal cosmic rock, or from an advanced troupe of alien step-brothers(12). Interestingly, these secular dooms often share two primary elements.

First, the crisis is at hand and something must be done at once to avert catastrophe.(13) Fortunately, in a secular apocalypse as opposed to the usual divine doomsday, there is generally some desperately expensive but decisively effective sacrifice of our material lives that we can make to avoid destruction.

Second, while the idea of a proactive method of avoiding calamity is hopeful, if the end does occur in one of these godless scenarios, there is not necessarily a redemptive factor; our existence might simply be over, thereby making way for the next evolutionary experiment. There is no eternal reward and no period of divine probation, with God being for all practical purposes as dead as humanity and their harp seal jackets. The whole thing would be quite meaningless. Nietzsche would be gratified if he weren't so dead already himself. This is a departure from the essentially hopeful traditional apocalypse, where humanity is spanked by God and then given a nice lecture and a hug before everlasting bedtime.

Fascination with an imagined global catastrophe is nothing new of course, but the apocalypse as a do-it-yourself project is a fairly recent idea. Following the nuclear destruction of the Japanese cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima at the end of the Second World War and the ensuing superpower brinkmanship, total existential destruction seemed not only possible but unavoidable. In an odd way, the recent addition of New Age enviro-goddess mythology has reintroduced renewal of spirit into the apocalyptic scenario. Survivors will be forced to listen to Yanni and wear crystal and turquoise accessories, but survival must come at a price.(14) This return to doom's purpose and meaning is not only natural, but was probably inevitable, as again, a proper apocalypse must complete the plot curve while balancing ruin and renewal in order to be truly compelling. The trick with a secular apocalypse is to do this within a framework in which God is either not the agent, does not exist, or is interested in outcomes of the story beyond those concerning human beings.

The New Age apocalypse also has a political element, but this is nothing new. From its origins in early religious literature, apocalypse has repeatedly been engaged to support political causes. Examples of this include not only today's Christian fundamentalism, but also Nazism, communism, and modern-day mysticism. Communism and National Socialism (Nazism), despite their antagonism toward one another, shared core political ideas masquerading as science. For instance, consider the communist idea of the progress of history and the Nazi eugenics program.(15) They each believed that a methodical understanding and even manipulation of the past and future was possible for an elite few. With religious apocalyptic believers, communists and Nazis shared millenarian beliefs in which the world would undergo a climactic conflict, followed by a profound change in the state of human existence and an eventually purified society. Their utopian fantasies in the end brought nothing but catastrophe to the twentieth century, as each party showed themselves to be somewhat less capable than God of handling the whole affair. Although they had claimed prophecy of a sort regarding the eventual positive outcomes of their struggles, as it turned out they were only struggling with reality, which then came crashing down around them. Still, they did manage to establish the secular apocalypse as a workable entity.

Engulfed by the subsequent secular apocalyptic wave, Christian eschatology largely assumed the role of folklore in modern society, its symbology mingled with contemporary terminology and experience. The result has been a period of pseudo-religious speculation about the end of the world without the assured comfort gained from edifying religious texts. As we will see, the missing information is often filled in using dubious science rather than questionable theology, usually at the expense of attention to genuine threats, the understanding of which calls for deeper thought and careful observation. Since some things never change, what sometimes passes for scientific truth with overly enthusiastic secularists is unfortunately not examined any more closely than the religious assumptions of the sacred past. Those who quiver in anticipation of today's new predictions of doom therefore seldom understand that the science behind their assumptions is not static, and is even sometimes just plain wrong.

(9) A succinct example of this point of view from philosopher Thomas Hobbes states that "...in the first place, I put for a general inclination of all mankind, a perpetual and restless desire of power after power that ceaseth only in death". Hobbes reached this conclusion by hanging out with politicians and aristocrats who by definition would aspire to this end; a self-fulfilling divination if ever there was one. Had he spent more of his adult life with common folk, he would have realized that the "general inclination of all mankind" is a decent sex life, good food, pleasant company, and a nice place to live. That’s why beer commercials look the way they do.

(10) Recent studies suggest that birth trauma can also create a predisposition to apocalyptic thinking. "At birth, the safety and warmth of our womb-world ends and we're forced painfully through a narrow passage into a colder, crueler world." (Finney, 1999.) Death being the next great passage, the pain of our earlier birth experience can therefore elicit great fear and apprehension. Tales of blissful afterlife and punishment of those who didn't behave themselves according to the rules are designed to assuage these feelings. So is red wine, making it a natural ritual accoutrement.

(11) These dispensations were symbolized by a golden age, followed by silver, brass, and iron stages leading up to the end of all things. This metallic symbolism would be copied later by the writer of the Book of Daniel. The idea of dispensations of human existence would also be adopted by apocalyptic worrywart Joachim of Fiore (see chronology.) Dispensationalism would eventually become a central tenet of modern apocalyptic theology.

(12) These scenarios are often used in concert. For instance, overpopulation and rainforest deforestation result in an exotic and deadly plague that is no longer curable because of the loss through pollution and overdevelopment of the very plant species whose byproducts might have saved us. Of course, it could just as well be that a threat from space, such as a comet on collision course, could bind the world together in mutual self-defense. It is also equally possible that some nabob would simply convince everyone that comets are God's will, so why bother saving ourselves?

(13) For many, that something means simply attaching environmentally-friendly bumper stickers to one's Volvo and donating money to the Sierra Club.

(14) It should be noted how distasteful New Agers and Christian fundamentalists find one another's points of view regarding the End of the World and its purpose. Some Christians actually use the rise in New Age belief as further evidence for their own End Times scenario, while New Agers often see Christian fundamentalism as a hindrance to the ascension of human consciousness.

(15) Among the more bizarre Nazi beliefs was the notion that they were the Aryan descendants of the Nephilim, giants of the Old Testament. The Nazi breeding program was designed to recapture and purify the Nephilim genes, resulting in a race of new Aryan "supermen" who would then use their mythical powers to assume control of the world and rid it of bastardizing racial influences. Nazi scientists therefore organized a breeding program to produce this perfect Aryan race. They based their criteria for the perfect human specimen on such important characteristics as skull size. Two things stand out regarding the irrelevance of this technique. In the first place, the Aryans likely originated in Persia, and would have been a bit swarthy for Nazi tastes. Also, cranial size has nothing to do with intellectual capacity, as even a cursory inspection of Mike Tyson strongly suggests.

The band is cooking now...

2011-04-11T22:48:00.001-07:00

I had the honor of participating in an Internet Radio Show called Backstage Gourment. PJ Grimes hosts the show which features musicians sharing their favorite recipes. So we spent some time talking about music and then divulged some of my family's secrets for great beans, tortillas and salsa.

The show originally aired on 1-24-11 and can be found on this page:

http://www.healthylife.net/RadioShow/archiveBSG.htm

Try the recipes and share with us your results!

HOMEMADE FLOUR TORTILLAS

4 CUPS FLOUR

1 TBSP BAKING POWDER

1½ TSP SALT

2 TBSP COOKING OIL

APPROXIMATELY 8 OZ COLD WATER

MIX ALL INGREDIENTS TOGETHER. WHEN IT IS MIXED WELL, AND THE CONSISTENCY OF A NON- STICKY DOUGH (ADD FLOUR AS NESSESARY TO GET THE RIGHT CONSISTENCY), MAKE INTO ABOUT 20 OZ BALLS OF DOUGH. PUT A KITCHEN TOWEL IN THE BOWL ANDSPACE THE DOUGHBALLS IN THE BOWL.-SPACE THEM SO THEY DONT TOUCH. COVER WITH ANOTHER KITCHEN TOWEL AND LET SIT FOR APPROXIMATELY 15 MINUTES BEFORE ROLING FLAT. -BEFORE YOU START MAKING THE BALLS INTO TORTILLAS, KNEAD THEM IN YOUR HANDS-

PAN SHOULD INITIALLY BE VERY HOT. COOK ON MEDIUM/HIGH HEAT ON A FLAT SKILLET OR GRIDDLE.TORTILLAS COOK VER QUICKLY (½- 1 MINUTE FOR EACH SIDE).USUALL WHEN TH E TOP SIDE IS FULL OF SMALL, RAISED BUBBLES, IT'S READYTO BE FLIPPED.

WITH PRACTICE, YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO MAKE ROUND TORTILLAS. UNTIL THEN, CONSIDER IT A LESSON IN GEOGRAPHY-------AS YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE SHAPES THAT LOOK LIKE PLACES ON A MAP!!-------

HOMEMADE SALSA

1 CAN TOMATOES (WHOLE OR DICED)

APPROX 1 TBSP GARLIC POWDER

1 TSP LEMON JUICE

1 JALAPENO, MINCED

½ CUP ONION, FINELY CHOPPED

SALT AND PEPPER

MIX IN BLENDER. USE PULSE MODE FOR A CHUNKY STYLE OR CONTINUOUS BLENDING FOR A SMOOTHER TEXTURE. EACH INGREDIENT SHOULD BE ADJUSTED ACCORDING TO PERSONAL TASTES. FRESH CILANTRO OR CHILI POWDER MAY ALSO BE ADDED FOR A VARIATION.

PINTO BEANS

4 CUPS DRY PINTO BEANS

3 CLOVES GARLIC, MINCED

1TBSP COOKING OIL

1½ TSP SALT

CLEAN THE BEANS FIRST BY GOING THROUGH THEM THOROUGHLY AND GETTING OUT ANY DIRT OR WRINKLED BEANS. RINSE THOROUGHLY. DON'T THROW AWAY BROKEN BEANS AS THEY HELP TO THICKEN THE JUICES.

PUT ALL INGREDIENTS INTO A CROCK POT AND COOK ON HIGH FOR APPROXIMATELY 8 HOURS. ALTERNATELY, BEANS CAN BE COOKED IN A PRESSURE COOKER AT 15# FOR 1 HOUR.

DEPENDING ON THE USE YOU MAY OR MAY NOT WANT TO MASH THE BEANS. THE EASIEST WAY TO MASH THEM IS WITH AN ELECTRIC MIXER. MAKE SURE YOU DRAIN SOME JUICE OFF PRIOR TO MIXING OR THEY WILL BE TOO THIN.

News from the front....The flu is never CONVENIENT.... nevertheless...

2011-04-03T20:18:00.001-07:00

At least it waited until after the recording session. *whew*
Seriously, I am wondering if there will be anything left of me once I get done coughing, or if I will simply become like an old t-shirt, turned inside out, laying in a sad little heap on the floor.
LOL

But seriously...
The recording session for "Pursuit*" went phenomenally smooth. I do believe Steve Avedis ("Uncle Steve") has really developed an intuitive 'feel' for this band. He has an uncanny ability to zero in on exactly where we are headed with a song, and bring it to life. And he comes up with the coolest suggestions - many times, it's like he's reading our minds.
ooOOoo...
It's like magic.
*Pursuit is an epic tale of a pirate ship from hell - of course! Is there any other kind?
The song has become everything I had envisioned when the initial strains of music first came to me - illuminated by Scotte's incredibly vivid, picturesque lyrics, and brought to life by JJ's inimitable voice.

The party at JJ's sister's house (HOUSE? More like a hotel/ranch/private resort!!!) was a blast, and the people were great.
We need to play more places that have a rope swing.
:)

In other news, I have gone 'back to school' and joined an online art academy, where I am honing my knowledge and skills, ready to elevate my artwork to a new level. It's very exciting.
You can follow that on my art blog by clicking HERE, or go to:
http://mikeyzart.blogspot.com/
But be sure to come back here when you're done!

Cheers-
Mikey

Mad Farmer on the Loose!

2011-03-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

That's what one of our homemade garden signs says, anyway.

It's gardening season again. I always look forward to nurturing my tomato seedlings and cleaning the yard from a long winter of neglect. Every spring I get a great burst of energy for my outside projects. It usually lasts until the end of June after which I like to kick back and reap the bounty of my labors picking only an occasional weed.

So this last month has been a whirlwind of cleaning out plant beds, rototilling, hauling manure and starting my early seedlings. All that good stuff intertwined with the drudgery of rearranging junk piles, battling the never-clean garage and organizing the biggest poop-party of the year.

The manual labor and working the dirt have a literal grounding effect that tend to keep one down to earth. I really enjoy that aspect. Of course I also really enjoy my fresh peas, beans, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, radish, squash, cucumbers and many herbs. The time investment my garden is so worth it to me.

Speaking of seedlings...

Seeds of song grow at unpredictable rates. On some magical moments, a song may go from germination to full bloom in a single day. Other ideas spend eons locked in a hibernation state waiting for the right conditions in which to emerge.

Here's hoping that this summer brings a bountiful harvest of vegetables and songs!

And would somebody please catch that mad farmer. I have some weeds for him to pull.

Apocalypse: The Forever Ending Story (excerpt 2)

2011-03-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

PART I - EYES ON THE DEMISE

"By defining human suffering in cosmic terms, as part of a cosmic order that contains an issue, catastrophe is dignified - enabled with meaning, and hence made bearable."
- Eugen Weber

Marge: It's the apocalypse. Bart, are you wearing clean underwear?
Bart: Not anymore.
-"The Simpsons"

The Psychology of Armageddon

As we shuffle off to explore the dusty, winding paths of apocalyptic thinking, we start at the trailhead where apocalyptic thought became possible, then necessary, and finally unavoidable. Freud postulated that there are certain desires that govern human development and action. Among these are the drives to procreate in a manner suitable for pleasure and party tales, the need to please our parents, and the need to pay large therapy bills. Added to these is the overriding human need for things to make sense. We crave an ordered and predictable series of events, with as many connections between otherwise disparate happenings and ideas as possible. This allows us to feel secure and confident in a universe that seldom shows any intrinsic tendency to actually behave that way. It is so much simpler when we just know that the universe comes with instructions and has been created in perfect order just for us. This has sometimes been considered so desirable in fact that one might be enthusiastically burned alive for suggesting otherwise. Enforced opinions lend a singularly comforting kind of certainty - at least for some. And what better way for it all to make perfect sense than to pigeonhole all Creation into a series of numbers, the days of our lives, making time itself our predictable companion? So in part, the art of calendrics was born.

Calendar calculation has always been a surprisingly uncertain endeavor, seeking as it does to impose order on chaos; to establish mortal time within the timelessness of the cosmos. At first, the effort was rough yet practical. Primitive people recognized that predictable patterns of success in hunting for meat, wild produce, and one another seemed to follow the cycles of the moon. This powerful connection made it appear reasonably certain that the moon was a god or goddess, and so the first calendars counted the days, nights, and seasons by the moon's motions and cycle. It also seemed reasonable that if the Moon God(ess) was thus following the rules, that the Sun God(ess) would do the same thing. Yet, despite the potential comfort and satisfaction to be gained from such cosmic conformity, the moon and the sun simply refused to march to the same numerical drummer.

A moon cycle is 29.53059 days. So, a lunar calendar winds up with a dozen cycles of twenty-nine and a half days, or a 354.36708-day year. This is about ten days shy of a year as calculated by using the Sun. Obviously, some new math and a bit of heartfelt shrugging would be needed to bring the days into acceptable order. Still, for most folks, a little ambiguity was all right. The exact numerical day was unimportant so long as the length and timing of the seasons were properly predicted to allow for planting, hunting, animal husbandry, and armed thievery. This laissez-faire attitude regarding precise timekeeping went on up until certain societies became materially stable and could afford to start worrying about abstract, non-survival oriented things like precisely numbering the days, thereby inventing ulcers and regular jobs in the city. This was known as the Classical Age.

For the Greeks, the early lunar calendar provided for ten months of 304 definite days, with the rest left up to the whims of politicians, philosophers, and theologians. This tradition was borrowed from the Babylonians who had several days that they just didn't give a whit, either. More precise techniques were demanded as classical society became more sophisticated, however. So, Greeks began to make use of an "intercalary" month every second year. This adjustment meant that the Greeks eventually settled, like the earliest civilizations in Europe, Asia, and Africa, on a neat little calendar of twelve months of thirty days each, leading to fewer make-believe days for which one would have to find a use. Meanwhile, most people simply went on about their business, satisfied that it all made sense to the people that mattered.

Just who it was that mattered eventually came to mean certain Roman officials who were given the task of keeping the calendar up-to-date, as it were. This was a job for which they proved so clever, that by the reign of Julius Caesar, scarcely two souls in the Empire could have agreed on precisely what day it was(6). Fortunately, the Egyptians, whom Caesar was by then referring to as suburban Romans, had a nifty and accurate solar calendar ready for the taking; an act of appropriation for which Rome showed real aptitude. So, with shiny new Roman names scribbled over the archaic Egyptian sacred days, the solar calendar came into fashion. This became known as the Julian calendar, because Julius Caesar was the one credited with stealing it.

All this might have been the end of it, had Augustus Caesar not noticed some time later that a three-year leap factor had been poorly managed, and the Julian calendar had been thrown off by three days. Plus, Augustus simply couldn't do with the month of Quintilis having been renamed “July” in honor of Julius Caesar, and the entire calendar then being known as Julian. He was a Julius fan, but wanted some credit too. So, Augustus cancelled leap year for awhile until the whole rotation corrected itself, then went to a four-year leap cycle. Gaius Asinius Gallus and Gaius Marcius Censorinus, the Ordinary Consuls of the Roman Republic in 8 BCE, were so impressed that they renamed the month of Sextilis “August” by way of congratulations.

Except for a few annoying differences in the lengths of the months, the new calendar suited everyone just fine for a while. Yet, there was still an extra eleven minutes compounding annually. Not that anyone was really worried. Planting olives eleven minutes one way or the other was not a bother. Still, eleven minutes here and there added up until the middle of the sixteenth century when somebody noticed that important Christian holidays were no longer being celebrated during the proper seasons. Although the problem had already been bandied about for hundreds of eleven-minutes-too-long years, the Julian calendar was not revised further until the late sixteenth century rule of Pope Gregory.

Gregory corrected Augustus' intercalary equation by figuring that a year whose number ended with 00 must also be divisible by 400 in order to enjoy a 29-day February. Again, this change went by most folks as nitpicking, as they could have just as well used moon cycles to plant crops and unpack their summer clothes. Nevertheless, to the educated and fastidious it was a stroke of brilliance. The desire for ever greater precision and certainty has caused numbers of suggested calendrical corrections since, including two different lengths of weeks, extended Sabbath days, intercalary weeks, and even aligning the Gregorian calendar to the Shire Reckoning of J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings tales.

The long and short of it all is that, as folks became used to an increasingly certain organization of weeks, months, years, centuries, and so forth, the natural human tendencies to see structure where none exists and to draw correlations between disparate ideas and events took hold. Because of this, the calendar itself was given a divine and prophetic significance. In other words, it seemed logical that if we were created in God's image, then we must also think like God and experience time like God; except that God, being much larger than us, would have bigger thoughts and bigger time. So, we took the biggest number anyone had any real use for, one thousand, and made it God’s Big Number, as in 2 Peter 3:8, where we read:
"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

Combining this formula with the Genesis story of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, religious thinkers figured that God had made the world in six thousand years and then rested for one thousand. The Latin terms "mille" meaning thousand, and “annus” for "year," together became used to denote this thousand years of God's rest. Theologians extrapolated from this that Creation as man knew it was to likewise last six thousand years before the Millennium, when the whole show would be over. So, figuring out the end of everything meant simply finding the beginning date and adding six thousand. The search for the beginning of the end had begun!

Before the Christian era, the popular calendar had simply begun with the supposed date of the founding of Rome. This came to be seen as impractical and awkward to Christians for obvious reasons. Because of this, Pope John I had earlier given sixth-century Scythian monk and stargazer Dionysius Exiguus (trans. Dennis the Little), the job of setting the start date for the calendar. Dennis decided to first correct the church's dating system, then based on Anno Diocletani, or years since the beginning of the reign of Diocletian, the infamous persecutor of Christians. Dennis thought it more proper to base his Christian system from the date of Christ's birth instead. The difficulty was that Jesus' actual birthday is not mentioned in the Bible, so Dennis had to rely instead on the only sources at hand, which were naturally Roman. Using these, he attempted to count backwards using various biblical references as his guide, since the exhaustive Roman records strangely made no mention at all of Jesus. This was all well and good except that the date-keeping of the biblical writers was also less exact than that of the Romans, often conflicting even with one another. In addition, Dennis himself was no math whiz. Nevertheless, he eventually arrived at a suitable starting place, stuck his finger on it, and called it 1 Anni Domini Nostri Jesu Christi, later shortened to Anno Domini, or the "year of our Lord."(7) In the end, however, the diminutive Dennis saw his work come to naught, suffering the ignominy of having his patron pope die while serving a prison sentence for treason. Dennis’ papally-sanctioned calendar fix fell out of favor, and would not be put into effect for over two centuries, when Saint Bede the Venerable used it to postpone a calendar-based apocalyptic crisis of his own day. It is through the clear planning and calculations of men such as Dennis and Bede that we settle on an otherwise random point of origin for the development of Christian apocalyptic thinking in human thought and history.(8) From this calendrical vantage point, we come to a better understanding of our history, both recorded and mythological, and the psychological importance of attempting to foresee the date of our own demise.

While such deeply-seated apocalyptic beliefs might seem pessimistic or unnerving, again such is not the case. The comfort of thinking we know the plan is far less threatening than either not knowing, or worse, realizing that perhaps there is no plan or deeper purpose to our existence beyond whatever we ourselves might establish. A divine plan offers spiritual security and refuge. So, even if the end is near, as it has been for our entire recorded history, we find comfort in thinking we know the how and why of the whole affair. Just as we complain if a book or film leaves a story open ended, we find closure and a strange serenity in plotting our fate on a story curve, then placing a little white doodad upon it and confidently proclaiming "you are here."

(6) For several centuries prior to Caesar, Romans often used a 22 or 23-day intercalary month called either Mercedinus or Intercalaris, following the 23rd day of Februarius. This was employed in order to keep the seasons in line with the calendar. However, the period was observed sporadically and not every second year like it was supposed to be. You know how the calendar can get away from you when you're not watching. Remember last Christmas? As a result, by the mid-first century BCE, the seasons were no longer showing up where they should. Caesars' favorite astronomer, Sosigenes, suggested that the calendar be extended that year to something like 444 days, give or take a day or so. "Many modern historians have accepted the figure of 445 days for 46 BCE, or the 'year of confusion.'"(Hollon, 2002.) It seems that the road to Hell is paved with not only good intentions, but also with discarded calendar pages.

(7) He might have called it the year "0", but he was using Roman numbers, which have no symbol or term for "zero." Islamic scholars would later reintroduce this Meso/Greek idea to the West in exchange for being slaughtered as heretics whenever the time seemed right.

(8) Although we will often focus on the apocalyptic strain as seen through the lineage of Jewish/Christian mythology, the apocalyptic traditions of other cultures are often similar enough to it for the Judeo/Christian version to serve as a template of sorts for comparing the various other doomsday scenarios throughout history.

New year, old friends, new directions.

2011-02-28T07:49:00.000-08:00

Gary’s departure from the band is a good occasion to pause for a moment's reflection. The last year has been a blast, I have learned and grown, played some really enjoyable music, met some great people, made new friends, reconnected with old friends, and had a lot of fun along the way. Many good memories have come out of the last year’s endeavors.
It is now time to move on, and I believe this will be best for all of us.

I wish Gary well – and I appreciate his honesty. In the end, you have to follow your heart, and play the music that inspires you. At least, that’s the way it is for me. Or, if you just want to go out and play gigs and make money, or be social, meet girls; whatever it is that floats your boat. For me, it’s writing, recording, playing and singing music that inspires me.
That's what I have found with this band.

Playing with Gary has reminded me how much I really do enjoy playing with a drummer, and his departure has alerted me, rekindled my awareness of how important it is to find a drummer (or any band member for that matter) who really ‘clicks’ with the other members, and with the band’s music; and ultimately with the band’s direction. There is nothing quite as satisfying – or in my opinion, as critical – as a rock-solid rhythm section.

But for now, I am really enjoying getting back to our roots. Practice the other night was a refreshing joy; just the three of us, unplugged, no cables or wires or mics – just tuning in to the instruments, the voices, and each other.

Yeah, I know; it’s really amazing when the acoustic band goes unplugged. LOL

The net result for IR is a process of ‘re-birth’; and like the Phoenix, the core group has emerged even stronger than before.

Speaking of band members that really ‘click’…

Scotte and I have a long history, and he is #1 on a very short list of that most rare and coveted player: a rock-solid bassist whose bass playing has a distinctive melodic ‘voice.’ And of course, his singing voice is pristine and beautiful to the point of making me jealous. Over the decades he has come into his own as a gifted songwriter and lyricist, and has a real knack for song-crafting.
JJ has become the third member of that solid triangle. His singing has a distinctive, delightful charm. His songwriting is superb. He and I have really found our niche for playing together, so that our two very different playing styles support and complement each other; he is the other of those equally rare and most coveted players: A guitarist whose playing locks together with your own like yin and yang – balancing each other out and harmonizing. It now feels like we have been playing together for a long, long time.

I consider myself lucky to (once again) be in the middle of a group with two very gifted songwriters, who complement each other brilliantly.
And on top of all that, the MOST coveted of covets: the ability for three voices to harmonize and blend together into something that at times seems magical. Each person has their own ‘space’ in the harmony, where they can truly shine, and the combination becomes bigger than the three individual parts; it takes on a life of its own.

I truly feel that IR - as a core group, and as a band - is much greater than the sum of its parts.
On top of that - oh yes, there's more - the members [and management ...Toni!!!] are a joy to be around, and deep down great people. Their friendship is as valuable to me as their musicianship.

This is a really good time in my life. I am a really lucky guy.
I lead a charmed life.

Rock Band Adventures

2011-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how it got into my house because I've had a no-video game policy for many years. Somehow Santa sneaked this one through my defenses. Neatly under the tree last Christmas was a neatly wrapped Wii Warriors of Rock game.

I have been avoiding playing this game ever since.

The family plays the game on a near daily basis; doing their expert Simon Says routines. Often they ask me, "Dad, do you want to play with us?" At first I was too busy doing chores, working , or even socializing. Then later my Rock Band itch was thoroughly scatched from a recent IR rehearsal. "Sorry, I just got finished playing Rock Star or Rock Band or whatever you call it." My last excuse was that I did not recognize most of the songs that came with the game. How could I be expected to compete with Simon tossing seemingly random sounds and colors at me?!

That was my downfall. I gave an excuse that had a cure. Two days ago the beatles version of the game found its way to my living room. Now I was finally enjoying the music coming from the kids nightly game. On the second day I wandered into the room with my acoustic guitar and jammed along with every song. Now this was fun! We were all playing together each according to their own ability. After a few rounds in this configuration I was grabbing the microphone to show them how to really do it.

You say want a revolution
Well you know....

So I finally caved. I had a great time playing with my kids rocking out the Rock Band.
Funny, but I still feel like a musician. Currently I have no plans for playing the Simon guitar but we'll have to wait and see how long I can balance on this slippery slope.

Wish me luck!

Toni's IR Blog!!!

2011-02-02T21:47:00.001-08:00

News, views, insights and colorful anecdotes from our colorful manager Toni.

Introduction - Apocalypse: The Forever Ending Story

2011-01-30T17:19:00.001-08:00

Introduction - Apocalypse: The Forever Ending Story
The Forever Ending Story: A History of Apocalypse and the Continuing End of Time
by
J. Scotte Burns II

Life's a laugh and death's the joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep them laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
Always look on the bright side of life.
- Monty Python's Life of Brian

"I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out."
- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens

The journey to understanding the development and meaning of apocalypse is a fascinating venture, filled with unexpected twists, surprising connections, and humor one is not supposed to indulge - like chuckling at a funeral. Still, some friends are just too spirited to not honor them with a post-mortem laugh. Likewise, fond memories of fears passed deserve an irreverent wink now and then. It is in this spirit that we embark on an amused, yet purposeful voyage through mankind's most intimate fear: The End of Himself. Before exploring the specific elements involved in the evolution of The End however, a more fundamental question must be considered: Did we always think this way, and if not, what happened?

As many of us have grown used to a familiar, static, and seldom questioned chronology of events known as "history", the answers are both refreshing and surprising. When considering apocalyptic thought in particular, it is often simply recalled that apocalypse has something to do with The Book of Revelation (popularly misnamed "Revelations"), about which the church will offer warning whenever necessary. Understanding its origin and meaning is therefore often seen as unnecessary by many that simply believe in it, whatever it is. Most folks also judge themselves at least as being sufficiently sinless to not have to worry too much about being devoured by dragons and spat into lakes of eternal fire. The plan for The End is seen as having been settled and understood in toto throughout Judeo-Christian history anyway, leaving little reason for personal analysis or interpretation.

Among the errors with making the latter assumption is the fact that apocalypse is a literary and cultural tradition that long predates Christianity and its New Testament. As we will see, it existed before the Old Testament, Judaism, and possibly even taxes. Naturally, death is a bit older, or the whole affair would be quite meaningless. What is more, the modern notion of a sequence of events including creation, apostasy, messiah, sacrifice, an uncertain intermission, and then a noisy outburst followed by eternal happiness for the righteous is the End-product of a long and fascinating evolution of inspired myths, political maneuvers, dogma, catastrophes, revivals, misinterpretations, and cultural conditioning. Letting this mixture ferment over time, then baking it in the eager flames of evangelical fervor, results in a spiritual flambeau known as apocalypse - a dish seldom served hotter than today.

The first necessary ingredient is the notion that the world will indeed end. As intuitive as the idea seems today, it wasn't always that way. Unlike creation stories, which everyone worth their salt (1) in the ancient world produced in great variety, the end of the story did not seem to much interest the Egyptians, Sumerians, Babylonians, or proto-Persian cultures who produced our earliest written historical records. Although they differed in many other cultural and philosophical respects, they apparently agreed that the gods had set Creation in perpetual motion, an eternal situation that was just fine by most folks. This is not to say that the ancients were unaware of the chaotic nature of things. Indeed, ancient tales of Marduk, Gilgamesh, and others make fantastic mention of the instability and darkness of the world. Combat myths, such as the destruction of Tiamat by Marduk (2), and the subsequent ordering and creation of the universe were ubiquitous and easily recognizable even by members of otherwise disparate and competitive societies. Such metaphors were the literary devices that provided challenge and intrigue for the perpetual heroes, who vanquished evil and assured that the sun rose for eternity and whatnot. So, gods, people, critters, and tales involving combinations of the three went merrily on, changing, adapting, and expanding, but remaining confident that as things had always been, so they would always be. Then, about four to eight centuries before the creation of the earliest books of the Old Testament came the Persian prophet Zarathustra, known to the Greeks as Zoroaster.

Founding a religion that would inspire subsequent Jewish mythology, Zoroaster’s teachings remained influential through the Muslim conquest of the Middle East in the seventh century, at which point everyone began bowing to Mecca and arguing with the neighbors. As told through its sacred scriptures, known as Avesta, Zoroastrianism focused on the conflict between opposing universal forces. The positive force was known as asha, and its negative counterpart was druj. Each had its representative deity as well. In the white trunks was Ahura Mazda, who created the world and therefore deserved praise and lovely hymns. In the black corner stood Angra Mainyu, agent of evil and chaos. Human beings, as a part of the created world where the conflict between the two sides was to be settled, could serve and stand for either deity, but Zoroastrians were expected to uphold the moral and ethical model of asha, battling evil and sustaining the world in righteousness. And, rather than being good simply by serving priests or offering sacrifices, individual Zoroastrians were expected to personally behave in a particularly virtuous way under the watchful eye of their God. While such a model is theological second nature today, at that time it was a highly unusual development in religious thought. Under this system, good guys and bad guys became wondrously easy to find in a world that also developed another important and novel characteristic: It would end!

In Zoroastrian theology, the conflict between good and evil no longer involved an eternal balance, but instead was to be fought on earth until good triumphed and evil was destroyed forever. Afterward, there would be universal physical resurrection of the dead, so that everyone could be gathered and confronted with their lifetime scorecards of good versus evil acts, judged by God, and then seated accordingly for eternity. Once this assembly had finished its judicial business, the metals of the world would become molten and the judged would have to pass through the resulting rivers and lakes of fire on the way to their expected eternal rewards. (Today, we ritually honor this event in a ceremonial act we call airport security.) The righteous would experience nothing but a warm, fuzzy feeling all over as they passed into paradise, while the damned would be destroyed in a screaming, fiery finale. Human earthly history would pass away as paradise reigned supreme.

In the Zoroastrian hymns known as the Gathas, purportedly composed by Zarathustra himself, this apocalyptic event, roughly translated as "the making wonderful" (Cohn, 1995) was to occur almost at once. When it didn’t do so ahead of the death of the prophet himself, the faithful were forced to be creative in adapting their faith to a dead-living-prophet world. Their inventive response was to imagine a future time when Zarathustra would return to finish his work and bring the world to its tidy and prophesied end. The savior, known as the Saoshyant, would be born of a virgin and would be ultimately responsible for leading the forces of good in the final battle against evil, thereby making the world wonderful.

Once the issue of the death of the prophet was effectively laid to rest, so to speak, the fix produced a new problem. As a growing community of faith, and so a potentially worthwhile source of livelihood and security for its administrators, Zoroastrianism could not have the end coming too soon. So, a series of multi-millennial epochs was conceived in which a new savior, each a version of Zoroaster himself, would appear at regular intervals, thereby marking the ages of man before the final curtain. The whole scheme made a neat picture of the beginning, middle, and end of everything, including god and his pseudonymous messenger.

This tale was so intriguing and powerful that it was adapted and readapted countless times, with various cultures adding splashes of color here and there according to taste and geography. If one happened to live near a major river or other large body of water, the beginning and/or end of everything took on a lovely aquatic quality, including flood stories and rains of unusual items. Mountain peoples were fond of earthier imagery; while legends from the deserts favored animal stories, destructive fires, and so forth. As cultures mingled over the following centuries, so did their religious mythologies and images, until in many places, one couldn’t tell a Zoroastrian from a Mithra devotee (3) from a Christ cultist. Of course, you couldn’t go around telling any of them that - a situation that persists among established religions to this day - because the cultural identities drawn from their perceived differences eventually became much more important to them than their common beliefs. Legends became laws and definitions became dogmas until in time people started believing that God actually cared what people named Him or Her, how meat was cooked, and who owned which strip of otherwise forsaken desert wilderness. It is a strange and marvelous world that we have tried to make wonderful.

The upside to all this was is that it did afford some measure of certainty in what can be an unpredictable and unforgiving world. Once properly seasoned to suit the cultural needs of the populations served, religions based upon a clear and communicable timeline provided a blueprint for proper societal thought and behavior, making getting along with God and one another a much more orderly business. Not that cultural differences in sacred definitions haven't proven nettlesome, as various persecutions, crusades, inquisitions, and ethnic cleansings will testify.(4) Even so, a shared understanding of humankind's meaning and course through God's Plan has provided a significant part of whatever cohesiveness and intent Western civilization might be said to posses. An important aspect of this religious paradigm has been apocalypticism and the groups that have formed around its cozy fires of damnation. Setting aside for a moment the subtle variations that have developed, there are a few key similarities in the perceptions of apocalyptic groups.

First, apocalyptic believers put great stock in a supernatural realm of mysterious and awesome power, of which human beings are only dimly aware. They also believe that the actions of characters in this mystical realm have a direct effect on events in the human sphere. For example, in the traditional biblical view, God reigns over a court of saints and angels of varying power and importance. The conflict with their evil counterparts in the form of Satan and his demons and damned souls both reflects and influences events on Earth. In time, their activities are supposed to actively enter the earthly realm, blurring the distinctions between the worlds. In earlier cultures, the lesser minions would have been called demigods and such, but Western faiths will have none of that. Father, Son, Holy Spirit, angels with magical powers, saints, prophets, and even the devil himself all derive their powers and positions from the one true God. In the popular view, this makes the Judeo/Christian God and His subordinates fundamentally different from the many supreme deities and their pantheons from "polytheistic" cultures that shared a similar arrangement. It is just this kind of clear distinction that one must keep in mind when considering the really important religious questions.

Next, apocalypticists often have a profound sense that things are not as they should be. That is to say that there is a mysterious gap between the script and the play. Forces beyond their control are affecting the course of events, leaving them anxious and uncomfortable with their inability to fully assume their ordained position in the kingdom of heaven, the afterlife, the New Age, or what have you. Much time and energy is therefore devoted to reconciling events and prophecies. During times of severe social stress or natural disaster, this activity becomes even more acute, leading to increased apocalyptic fervor and experimentation with ever more graphic visions of impending death and universal doom. For believers, apocalyptic scenarios provide the dynamic formulae for calculating precisely how all shall be made right, dogs and cats will learn to coexist in peace, double coupons will never expire, and God and His Creation will live happily ever after.

Finally, apocalyptic groups see themselves as a special sort of people. Their God shares this perception, and makes them responsible in some way for helping bring about the apocalypse, as well as putting them in charge of running things once the curtain falls. God could do this without help from the favored group of course, but He seems to want to give them something to do while waiting for the end, which can demand great patience. Since such spirited cultural identity must be supported through a cooperative effort, a grand collective title for the people involved is developed to secure the perception and its continuation. After all, who could resist being among "God's Chosen" and such? The group is thereby distinguished from the masses due to their superior knowledge of God and their place in the divine plan.

A key element in this paradigm is that knowledge of the schedule and character of apocalyptic events is not available to just anybody. An exclusive showcase of revealed prophetic visions by way of dramatic media is necessary. God will not simply pop down with a reasonable instruction book for the End of All Things and tell everyone to be ready by 7:00. The events must be cloaked in otherworldly fog, being sufficiently esoteric to require either extensive research, or at the extreme, a legendary prophet of The Chosen or some other inspiring figure to receive and interpret the message. In turn, the prophet and his revelation, being available only to the preferred people, becomes a part of the story that confirms their special place and their distinctiveness from the common rabble. (If willing to convert to the True Faith, the rabble can sometimes join The Chosen, however. Such conversions are often seen as further proof of the True Faith and the fulfillment of prophecy.)

These elements will sound familiar to anyone exposed to the major "monotheistic" faiths of the western world - Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. Apocalyptic concepts are not limited to these, though, as will become plain as our colorful chronology of apocalypse unfolds. Yet, most practitioners of the Western faiths have so completely incorporated apocalyptic ideas into their beliefs that the notion of human history being drawn inexorably to a violent, predestined demise has become the conventional wisdom. Combined with various creation stories, parables, and explanatory tales, the apocalyptic paradigm has helped produce the certainty of human significance, security, and purpose necessary to comfortably organize and interpret Man’s existence. There is great comfort derived from the corporate belief that we know what is happening in a universe that would otherwise seem unfathomable and therefore perpetually threatening. The fact that science is dismantling this carefully built system is the primary reason it frightens, angers, and confuses many believers.

So, while amusing ourselves with its eccentricity, it is necessary for the reader to keep in mind how essential apocalyptic assumptions are to the western psyche. While often irreverent concerning its esoteric details and frothier manifestations, it is therefore the purpose of this book to provide insight into this essential element of human history and to explore its profound and continuing influence. We must not slight the relevance of apocalyptic belief to history and social evolution for the sake of cheap laughs or impertinent grins. These will be had instead at the expense of the amusing anxieties that accompany apocalyptic thought, the comic actors who faithfully pursue its chimeras, and the funny bits that color our history when we forget that we collectively invented it all in the first place. The notion that God may have allowed humanity to carry on even in the face of such absurdity could be ironically interpreted as proof of the existence of the divine through a profound, yet subtle and sublime universal sense of humor at which we should marvel, and in which we may revel. Thank God.

(1) "Salt money", referred to in Latin as salarium argentum, was a portion of the pay given to Roman soldiers. It is the origin of the English word "salary". Used as currency, salt was also sometimes exchanged for slaves. Therefore, being "worth your salt" meant a great deal more than being economical with the table condiments. Today, salt retails for around thirty-nine cents per pound, while a suitable slave is financially out of the question for most households.

(2) According to this Babylonian creation story, the father god Apsu and his mate Tiamat gave birth to the gods, who then proceeded to annoy their parents with their horseplay and bickering at all hours. So, Apsu decided to slay his offspring and then take a nap. However, the youngsters discovered the infanticidal plot and killed Apsu instead. Tiamat took offense and pledged revenge. She apparently could have used a nap, too. Fearful of their vengeful mom, the adolescent gods talked their youngest cousin, Marduk, into having it out with her. He had four eyes, four ears, and spat fire when he talked, so he seemed a natural choice. He blackmailed the others into giving him undisputed power over all of the gods if he should win the struggle with Tiamat. Once this was agreed, he snared Tiamat in a net, blew on her really hard, poked holes in her with an arrow, then cracked her skull open with a mace. He then made half of her body into the roof of the sky. The rest went to make trees, mountains, and soft places to lie down and gloat. After Marduk thereby created the world, his victory revels were interrupted by the gods he had jailed for their support of Tiamat complaining about their food. Marduk and Ea, his father, responded by executing one of the captive gods as a way of pointing out to the others that the food really wasn't that bad, considering. Meanwhile, since he had nothing better to do with the leftover god-blood, Ea created human beings out of it. This last part of course is seen as quaint today, as it is widely understood that we are actually made of clay, not god-blood.

(3) Mithra was worshipped in Persia for centuries before Zoroaster ostensibly founded what is now recognized as the world's first revealed faith. Zoroaster professed the holy dominion of Ahura Mazda, who in turn was served by the "bounteous immortals" or Amentas Spenta. In a handy incorporation of the neighbor's myth, it was held that among these frolicking minions was Mithra, whom Ahura Mazda admitted was very godlike. In this manner, Zoroastrianism did not supplant Mithracism, but cast it in a different light and then absorbed it. (Cooper, 1996.) Christian writers would later give Jewish myths similar treatment. This technique makes transition from one religious paradigm to another fairly seamless, as the names and places are already familiar. Consequently, daily routines are not disturbed and most folks don't really notice, which is nice.

(4) Although it has become accepted that to testify means to swear the truth of a statement or the power of an oath by placing one hand over the heart or on the Bible, the method of bonding one's word was not always so. In ancient times, male genitalia were often seen as a source of both life and strength. Therefore, a hand placed on the male privates prior to swearing truth was seen as a solemn oath. (I got 'yer truth right here.) For example, in Genesis 24:2 when Abraham was making his servant swear to find him a nice Jewish girl to be his latest daughter-in-law, he says, "Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh And I will make thee swear by the LORD." By this logic, the biblical proscription agaisnt women testifying in church seems unavoidable. The Latin root "testi" is therefore likely the basis for both testify and testicle. This knowledge certainly gives one pause when gospel singers ring out that they are about to testify. Perhaps it helps with the high notes?

SPECIAL EVENT: Ironwood Rain Valentine's Day Pajama Party @ the Buff!!!

2011-01-30T15:20:00.000-08:00

Scotte's IR Blog:

2011-01-18T15:15:00.001-08:00

Links to Scotte's book, posts, and other goodies:
Introduction - Apocalypse - the Forever Ending Story

Mikey's IR Blog:

2011-01-18T15:14:00.004-08:00

Mikey's blog posts, guitar gallery, and other goodies:
IR-Related POSTS:
Burn the Ships - Illustrated by NC Wyeth?
My Painting of Johnny Cash to donate to the silent auction at the 1st Annual CD Relief Concert

Photos and galleries:
Mikey's Guitar Gallery!
Blast from the Past - Vintage pics of mikeyzmusic over the years!

Songs and music:
The Attic: Story of a Ghost Story

Other posts:

News from the front... the flu is never CONVENIENT... nevertheless... (4/2011)
New year, old friends, new directions (2011)

JJ's IR Blog

2011-01-18T15:14:00.003-08:00

Blog posts:
Rock Band Adventures

Gary's IR Blog:

2011-01-18T15:14:00.001-08:00

The St. Germain Party Train goes through here!

SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST added to Pirate Party!

2010-11-26T19:36:00.000-08:00

Great news! New entertainment has been added to the bill!
Local pirate legend Cap'n Jack McCool has graciously agreed to join us onstage for a very special rendition of pirate music!

You OTTER not miss this!

The Attic: story of a ghost story... (by Mikey)

2010-11-24T21:46:00.000-08:00

So there I was, listening to music; it must have been Richard Thompson... a haunting ghost song, really eerie and atmospheric. He played some chord change and I thought "wow, that's cool - that gives me an idea..." That's the thing about great music: it gets my creative mind going, and I can see, hear, and feel music just coming from everywhere... it grows and grows... (creativity begets creativity, perhaps?)
So I pulled the guitar out and started noodling around. I came up with some musical ideas that popped into my head. I liked some of them, and started stringing them together. By the time I was done, I had the main theme, chord progressions, and song structure. It bore little or no resemblance to the RT song - that was just a launching pad for an idea, which grew into something else. However, there was an haunting quality that lingered.
I recorded the guitar part for the band to listen to. But I had no lyrics.
I tried writing something, but all I could write about was ghosts. Of course, the RT song was called Ghosts in the Wind. Hard to get away from that, especially with the minor key and the eerie theme. So I set the song aside for awhile.
A couple weeks later, I started noodling around with some lyrics about a girl who wore a necklace from an abusive boyfriend, and the chain around her neck became a metaphor for her situation. I expanded on that, with a young man who wears his alliances on his sleeve, and then eventually my own dogma (that which at first is liberating can eventually become restrictive); all being variations of a "chain around the neck." Interesting idea, but it wasn't flowing right, and the lyrics just weren't feeling right for that song.
Still, I had the temptation to write some ghost story lyrics. but I didn't want to do the obvious, especially since that was the theme of the song that had started all this.
Scotte offered to take a shot at it, and so I gave him the lyrics I had and the recording - without ever referring him to the RT song. Scotte wrote a beautifully haunting set of lyrics, which became the words for The Attic.
JJ came up with an even eerier guitar line, that has a life all its own. And Gary's percussion and sound effects just put it over the top, really brought it to life.
What is it?
A ghost story.
LOL
I guess the music just says "ghost story..." and it wasn't just me...
And here's the kicker... when we were in the studio recording this song, my guitar and JJ's guitar started this 'sympathetic harmonic vibration' thing going back and forth between the two guitars, it was like two ghosts singing to each other... it was so cool, and we looked at each other like "WHOA. Don't stop, just let it happen!"
We have a saying in the band: "Let the song decide." And this one did.

(thanks to Megan Ratchford for getting me thinking about the story...)

New test logo

2010-11-16T20:28:00.001-08:00

In the spirit of "Burn the Ships," I have been experimenting with what I am now calling the "IR Fi-R Logo."
Here is a sample...

SPECIAL MUSICAL EVENT: "Burn the Ships" Pirate Party!!!

2010-11-11T18:03:00.001-08:00

Avast, me hearties!!! Hoist the colors and come about for fun!
Slap on yer eye-patch, grab yer parrot and join us for an entertaining evening!
Come help us celebrate the successful launch of our new CD, "Burn the Ships"!!!
Ironwood Rain presents a "Burn the Ships" Pirate Party, performing a special Pirate/Nautical/Sailing/Ocean themed set - featuring music from the brand new CD and including as many piratey songs as we can get our hands on...
We will also feature a live premier our newest song, "Pursuit," about a pirate ship (from hell!) - told from the viewpoint of the ship herself!!!
We'd like to get some great video shots of the song with the pirate crowd, so get gussied up in yer finest swash-buckling garb!
(And there may even be a brand-brand new song from the journals/Caribbean adventures of a notorious local pirate and scallywag...)
Listen to tracks from the new CD Burn the Ships, along with tracks from the debut CD TRIO - CLICK HERE.
There will be many entertaining happenings throughout the evening, and special prizes too!
SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS will be announced soon!

Weigh anchor and set sail for adventure and fun!
Saturday, December 11 - 6:00 - 9:00 pm
D-Note
7519 Grandview Ave •Arvada, CO, 80002-2511, USA
More information will be posted and updated here and on our Facebook Page Event-
If you have any questions, please contact us at
ToniB@IronwoodRain.com
or
mkloep@hotmail.com

11/26/10:
Great news! New entertainment has been added to the bill!

Local pirate legend Cap'n Jack McCool has graciously agreed to join us onstage for a very special rendition of pirate music!

You OTTER not miss this!

VIDEO - Ironwood Rain: an Introduction

2010-11-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

Graphix and stuff

2010-11-07T20:30:00.001-08:00

WELCOME!

2010-11-07T20:10:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the official Ironwood Rain blog!
News, events, personal insights and experiences... we'll be bringing you life in the world of IR.
Be sure to visit our website at IronwoodRain.com!